“By no means maintain your self again from making an attempt one thing new simply since you’re afraid you gained’t be ok. You’ll by no means get the chance to do your finest work in case you’re not prepared to first do your worst after which let your self study and develop.” ~Lori Deschene
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I requested my mom for the third time throughout our lunch collectively.
She sighed, put down her fork, and stated one thing that also haunts me: “I’ve gotten used to competing along with your telephone in your consideration.”
I regarded down at my telephone, Instagram nonetheless glowing on the display screen, and noticed myself by her eyes: a twenty-nine-year-old man extra invested in strangers’ lives than his personal mom’s tales.
I’m not alone on this battle.
Research present the typical individual spends two and a half hours every day on social media, with 210 million folks worldwide believed to undergo from social media dependancy.
However statistics didn’t matter to me till I noticed how my very own dependancy was unraveling the material of my life.
How My Freelance Goals Nearly Died in My Social Media Feed
My freelance enterprise was crumbling, one scroll at a time. What began as “simply checking Twitter for networking” become a every day nightmare of missed deadlines and disenchanted shoppers.
One morning, I opened my inbox to seek out three separate messages from shoppers asking about overdue initiatives. Was it that I used to be overpromising or improperly managing my time?
The reality was painful: I’d spent an excessive amount of time consuming different freelancers’ “success tales” on LinkedIn, taking away from doing the work to create my very own.
My portfolio web site sat untouched for months whereas I obsessed over others’ completely curated mission showcases.
A protracted-term shopper who’d promised to refer me to his community quietly stopped responding to my emails after I delivered their mission per week late.
Initiatives that ought to have taken three centered hours stretched into two distracted days, full of anxiousness and self-doubt.
Dealing with the Actual Individual Behind the Display screen
After dropping an essential shopper for “not assembly expectations,” I used to be pressured to face an uncomfortable fact: Social media wasn’t my downside—it was my symptom.
I used to be utilizing different freelancers’ spotlight reels as a type of self-sabotage.
Each “hustle tougher” and “how I made $10,741 final month” put up grew to become an excuse to remain paralyzed as compared mode.
Fairly than pitching new shoppers, I’d spend hours finding out different freelancers’ portfolios. As an alternative of enhancing my abilities, I’d scroll by Twitter threads promising “Ten secrets and techniques to six-figure freelancing.”
The tougher fact?
My social media dependancy was masking a deeper worry: the worry of truly placing myself on the market and risking actual failure. It was simpler to dwell vicariously by others’ success tales than write my very own.
Each time I felt the anxiousness of an approaching deadline or the uncertainty of reaching out to new shoppers, I’d attain for my telephone. The non permanent escape of scrolling had turn out to be my safety blanket.
My wake-up name got here by numbers I couldn’t ignore: I had spent 458 hours on social media up to now three months—sufficient time to have accomplished a abilities boot camp, began writing a guide, or acquired a number of new skilled certifications.
As an alternative, I had nothing to indicate for these hours besides an intimate data of strangers’ enterprise journeys.
Constructing a New Basis
My preliminary modifications have been small however important:
- I moved my telephone to a different room throughout work hours.
- I created a “worry record” documenting what I used to be actually avoiding after I reached for social media.
- I arrange web site blockers throughout my designated deep work hours.
- I established a morning routine that started with motion, not consumption.
Probably the most highly effective change was implementing what I name the “Create Earlier than Devour” rule: I wasn’t allowed to have a look at any social media till I’d created one thing of worth that day—whether or not that was shopper work, enhancing my abilities, or constructing my very own enterprise.
Every time I felt the urge to examine social media, I requested myself, “Am I utilizing this as a instrument, or am I utilizing it as an escape?” The reply was uncomfortable however transformative.
9 occasions out of ten, I used to be avoiding one thing essential—a difficult mission, a troublesome shopper dialog, or the nagging feeling that I wasn’t residing as much as my potential.
The shift from passive shopper to lively creator wasn’t nearly productiveness—it was about reclaiming my identification as an expert.
Every centered hour grew to become a small victory, every accomplished mission a testomony to what I may obtain after I stopped hiding behind my display screen.
The Thirty-Day Journey That Modified All the things
I made a decision to vary my relationship with social media reasonably than avoiding it. First, I needed to rewire my mind to cease associating each free second with reaching for my telephone.
As an alternative of mindlessly scrolling, I skilled myself to pause and mirror on why I used to be opening an app within the first place. Was it out of boredom, behavior, or real intention?
Right here’s what occurred throughout my thirty-day detox.
Week 1: The Withdrawal Was Bodily
I began protecting a journal of the moments I reached for my telephone.
One entry reads: “Reached for telephone forty-seven occasions earlier than midday. Really feel empty, anxious. Why is sitting with my very own ideas so terrifying?”
Week 2: Rediscovering Misplaced Connections
I known as my mom—truly known as her, not simply favored her Fb posts. We talked for 2 hours. She instructed me tales about her childhood I’d by no means heard earlier than. “That is the primary actual dialog we’ve had in years,” she stated.
Week 3: The Productiveness Breakthrough
After being unmotivated for a few weeks, I found I may full work in three hours that beforehand took all day.
My shoppers observed the change. One in all them even instructed me, “Nice work! It’s clear no matter you’re doing is working—stick with it!”
Listening to that suggestions reaffirmed simply how highly effective it may be to take management of your digital habits.
Week 4: Discovering Actual Pleasure in Self-Improvement
Probably the most profound change got here after I changed senseless scrolling with intentional studying.
I dedicated to studying “Deep Work” by Cal Newport. The irony wasn’t misplaced on me—I’d saved that guide to my “to learn” record months in the past, proper between watching productiveness TikToks and Instagram tutorials.
For the primary time in years, I skilled what true focus felt like.
I began every morning with two hours of uninterrupted studying. As an alternative of scrolling by LinkedIn success tales, I used to be creating content material and finishing initiatives of my very own.
Breaking Free: What Truly Works
By means of my journey, I found some counterintuitive truths about breaking social media dependancy:
1. Chilly turkey doesn’t work long-term. As an alternative, create “social media hours,” designated occasions whenever you enable your self to examine platforms.
2. Exchange digital connections with actual ones. I now have “espresso dates” with pals as a substitute of messenger chats.
3. Observe aware utilization: Earlier than opening any social media app, I ask myself, “What am I looking for proper now?” Normally, it’s connection, validation, or escape from uncomfortable feelings.
4. Create earlier than consuming. I spend my mornings writing or creating reasonably than scrolling by others’ creations.
The Ongoing Journey
Six months later, I nonetheless use social media however in another way.
I’ve rebuilt relationships I almost misplaced.
Most significantly, I’m current in my very own life.
The actual revelation wasn’t about social media being inherently dangerous—it was about how simply we will lose ourselves within the digital world whereas the actual one passes us by.
