It’s tempting to have a look at others in our trade to see if we’re doing issues the proper manner, particularly when others are extra profitable than us. We’d take a look at what others are doing to resolve what we plan to do in our enterprise.
There are occasions when following others’ recommendation is smart, but there are additionally occasions when following our personal instinct is healthier. On this episode, I need to discuss to you about when to do issues your individual manner, why it’s protected to take action and productively evaluate your self to others in your trade. Tune in immediately!
Discover the complete episode transcript and present notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode519.
What To Do Subsequent
Should you’re able to get out of your individual manner in your enterprise, you need to be part of my productiveness program for perfectionists who’re constructing companies known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished. Click on right here to seek out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist immediately: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
Hear To The Episode
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Mission. A podcast stuffed with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own manner and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the perfectionist getting shit finished group teaching program, which is in any other case often called PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that can assist you with your enterprise, you may observe me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)
Okay. One other episode for you this week. And what I’ve been doing goes by way of the podcast, all of our 500+ episodes and hand-selecting ones that I feel are important so that you can hearken to as a perfectionist, who’s attempting to construct a enterprise, particularly in the event you’re within the stage proper now the place you’re combating productiveness.
So this episode is essential and I extremely encourage you to hear the entire manner by way of. I needed to re launch it as a result of it has helped so many individuals and meaning there’s an excellent probability that it’ll assist you to too.
And in the event you occur to hearken to it on the time that it initially got here out, that I feel it will be a good time now to hearken to it once more, as a result of you can be at a distinct place eager about various things and it is possible for you to to take a lot from it. In order that’s why I’m sharing it with you. And I hope you benefit from the episode.
Sam Laura Brown
On this episode, I need to discuss to you about belief that you’re constructing your enterprise the proper manner. And I say the proper manner, as a result of that’s how we have a tendency to consider it. However from the get go, I simply need to point out there isn’t any proper or incorrect manner. And we are able to get so caught and paralyzed. And in our heads after we are considering, there’s a proper manner and a incorrect manner. And if we do it, the proper manner might be profitable.
If we do it the incorrect manner, might be unsuccessful, it’s simply black and white all or nothing considering, as an alternative of actually recognizing that there are such a lot of methods to get to your objectives. And so some ways for your enterprise to work, there are such a lot of variations that will achieve success of your enterprise mannequin. There are such a lot of totally different platforms that you possibly can select to be on and you possibly can select to not be on.
So for instance, you possibly can select to be on Instagram and never on TikTok or you possibly can select to have a podcast and never have a YouTube channel. Or you possibly can select to simply do every part by way of electronic mail, or you possibly can select simply to do every part in individual. There’s no like proper place to be, there’s no proper provide that it is advisable have on your shoppers or your prospects. There’s no proper pricing, proper Instagram, social media technique, and actually studying belief ourselves and belief our future self, and never even our future self, that they’ve the solutions.
And that is one thing that I used to be actually eager about the opposite day once I was performing some self teaching by way of the lens of getting a dialog with my future self, that I used to be being actually conscious. And I hadn’t even considered this earlier than. And I simply needed to say this from the highest is that on the subject of belief in our future self, what’s the strongest factor to do is have our future self be the coach, because it have been within the sense {that a} coach doesn’t provide you with solutions, they assist you to come to your individual solutions.
And so if we consider our future self, as being our coach, and that once you’re doing a q&a, for instance, together with your future self, so together with your journal, you ask a query to your future self, you then enter it and travel till you get the readability and conclusion it is advisable and as an alternative of getting your future self let you know what to do. You might have your future self ask you questions, in order that your current day self can let you know what to do once I was doing that in my journaling the opposite day myself teaching, it was so totally different. And I simply needed to share that right here. So anyway, this entire episode, we’re simply going to be chatting about belief that you’re constructing your enterprise the proper manner.
And I need to say that is one thing that comes up particularly if you’re tending to match your self with or take a look at different companies in your trade, what they’re doing, how they’re advertising and marketing, how they’re pricing, what their product is like, or their companies like what the house owners or entrepreneurs or whoever is spending their time doing. And people sorts of issues to try to work out what we must be doing, or how we must be pricing or how we must be displaying up on social media in the event you have been doing that. And notably in the event you’re companies which can be making more cash than you. And so that you’re type of placing them up on a pedestal and considering they know higher as a result of they’re extra profitable than I’m.
In thereby, I have to ensure that I’m doing it the identical manner they’re doing it. And we’ve this mind-set that they’re profitable due to, so an instance could be due to the sorts of images they publish on Instagram and the way in which that they’ve a sure type of caption whether or not or what number of occasions they publish or what time of day they publish or what number of tales they do, or all these little issues that we predict that’s the reason that they’re profitable, when it’s really not the explanation they’re profitable.
So we’re very misguided, and are getting it misinformation in a way after we draw the conclusion that they’re profitable due to that, as an alternative of recognizing that they’re profitable, due to the ideas that they’re having. And in the event you had related ideas to them, they could be useful for you they may not be and people related ideas may really lead you to totally different conclusions, and a distinct advertising and marketing technique or totally different pricing or a distinct product.
And I needed to speak about this as a result of I’ve witnessed this with our PGSDers. I’ve witnessed it in my very own journey the place I’ve actually been considering like there’s a proper manner and a incorrect manner and I need to make certain I’m doing the proper manner and I’ve observed how particularly over the past couple of years, perhaps particularly over the past yr, I’ve much less and fewer been on this place of like there’s a proper approach to do it and a incorrect manner and simply actually settling into I really do know, like what I’m doing. And it’s you may assume, in fact you assume that since you do know what you’re doing, however I’ve had that thought out there to me for a very long time.
And I’ve chosen to not assume it and I’ve chosen that different folks would know higher. I’ve additionally seen within the mastermind that I’m in. I’ve seen folks in there. And it’s simply an instance of like, it’s a lot extra apparent when others are doing it you can see like, Oh, sure, I’ve finished that too. However I’m to some extent nonetheless doing it to that, within the mastermind. I’m seeing folks in that mastermind who’re very targeted on doing issues the proper manner. And in a manner that Stacey, who’s a frontrunner would approve of and having to do it the identical manner that she does it, which isn’t what she teaches.
She doesn’t educate it that you must do it precisely the way in which she’s doing it. She’s educating away considering the identical manner that in PGSD, I’m educating a mind-set, as a result of that each one teaching is, and after we are very targeted on being proper or incorrect, we regularly find yourself spending a lot time spinning our wheels, that is when as effectively, they could be a lot of procrasti-learning occurring and leaping from one factor to the following to the following factor to when we’ve all of the tabs open in our browser.
And also you could be everybody else’s gross sales pages and attempting to determine, okay, what’s the proper approach to do it, and pricing, marriage ceremony, all of that type of factor. Or folks’s Instagram and seeing how usually they’re posting and all various things. And utilizing emojis the identical manner they use emojis, or the identical name to motion, or all these various things that we’re considering that the way in which that we’re displaying up or that different persons are displaying up is what creates the outcomes when it’s not.
And we’re additionally devaluing the truth that we do like what we’ve realized, that doesn’t imply we don’t have issues to study, and that there isn’t room for enchancment, however we do know sufficient, and that it’s protected to belief ourselves. And it’s protected to attract a conclusion that’s totally different to or have a enterprise mannequin or a technique that’s totally different to somebody who’s making more cash in the identical trade, to have a distinct enterprise mannequin or technique to your coach to have a distinct manner of doing issues to different folks that you just admire.
Or an professional who has, you already know, been doing one thing for thus a few years, that you’d have a distinct conclusion on what one of the simplest ways is for you. And being prepared to honor that and worth that. And to have the ability to have these conversations with your self. So you may actually inform and discern, when your development is to do issues in a manner that doesn’t really feel snug with you. And to teach your self on that. And get out of your individual manner with that. And once you’re development is to really do it in a manner that does really feel good to you.
And be prepared to present your self that permission, even when an professional won’t agree or like imagining that they wouldn’t agree and even when your coach is doing it a distinct manner, or the folks you look as much as or who’re making more cash and doing it a distinct manner that pay to try this. And it’s actually like recognizing that there are such a lot of recipes for a way we are able to create a profitable enterprise. And that by the character of a being a recipe that it’s going to must be publish in a transparent manner with it been step-by-step.
So I talked about this a bit on the finish of the episode I did on say no, after you’ve already stated sure. However for instance, with baking some blueberry muffins, that if it was like, Okay, you need to use a cup of flour. Or if you wish to, you possibly can use two cups, or perhaps you possibly can use half a cup like all of them work and thus far given all these choices, after which perhaps you possibly can use 100 grams of butter or 150 or like they usually’ve been all these tens of millions of mixtures inside this recipe, it will be so overwhelming that we’d by no means find yourself with the blueberry muffins.
But when it’s right here, you want a cup of flour, you want 125 grams of butter, you want a punnett of blueberries and no matter. It’s not that it’s the proper manner, the one manner however it’s a manner and by it being laid out clearly, we are able to observe that. And so it’s so necessary if you end up following another person’s course of for issues. And as we do anytime we’re studying one thing from another person, that we acknowledge that it’s not the one approach to do it. And that that’s a method that works.
And there are different variations of that that work too. And it’s okay for us to decide on one other variation of that, once more acquired to be unto ourselves after we try to enter a distinct variation simply as a approach to simply keep away from discomfort and we’re type of self sabotaging, it’s completely regular to try this, don’t beat your self up in the event you’re doing that. However to know there are occasions the place it undoubtedly is smart to deviate from what you see others round you doing and to essentially be true to your self.
And even at first, once you’re nonetheless figuring that out, to know that you just do have knowledge and information and steering you can give your self round it. And that as you make choices and take a look at them, doesn’t imply simply because you could have like instinct or information round it that you just’re going to make, you already know, all of your decisions are going to work within the sense that they’re going to have the end result that you just needed or predicted that they’d. However I feel one of the simplest ways to calibrate and recalibrate our enterprise sense and information and instinct.
And all of that’s to have like study from others, sure, but additionally having it by way of the filter of like our future self, and our self picture and our development aim and our massive image imaginative and prescient for the enterprise that we’ve. After which if there are tweaks and variations to that, to have them after which take a look at it do an analysis. And that is the place in PGSD once you’re doing all your development aim, energy planning, all of that type of factor, we’ve the weekly critiques, then the quarterly and annual evaluate in addition to one that you’re reflecting as a result of it’s crucial that you just try this. As a result of a number of occasions we similar to I simply have a sense that’s not working, I have to do one thing totally different.
After which we deviate from one thing that was working, simply because we hadn’t really evaluated it in an goal manner. Or simply as a result of we hadn’t given it sufficient time that we have been in a rush. And there are different issues occurring there. So we need to be eager about if you end up constructing your enterprise, trusting your self to construct it the proper manner. And that it’s protected to belief your self that particularly if you end up doing weekly critiques, your quarterly evaluate your annual evaluate, you aren’t going to guide your self astray.
And after we place all this belief and everybody else over ourselves, then we’re not capable of then have the ability to again ourselves after we are in conditions the place we must be resourceful or the place we have to overcome resistance with a view to observe by way of with one thing that’s in our greatest curiosity, despite the fact that it’s uncomfortable. We weren’t having that self belief, we’re not capable of observe by way of with our plans on a weekly foundation, we’re not capable of really try issues which may fail as a result of we are able to’t belief ourselves that we are going to be okay on the opposite facet of any emotion, any painful emotion that we would have to really feel.
So after we are different folks’s companies, as a result of I feel we’ve this tendency as people to match. And I feel that’s very primitive, being that we do within the sense that like, primitive, primal, like, it’s one thing that we’re at all times eager about subconsciously is can we slot in with the gang? Are we belonging? Are we lovable, all of these sure issues? And so to simply know that we’re like, folks say, effectively, don’t evaluate your self to others.
What if we thought, okay, effectively, I’m most likely going to match myself to others, perhaps I gained’t. And I feel if we cease telling ourselves, such as you shouldn’t evaluate ourselves, or evaluate your self to different folks, we’re going to be much less prone to really do it after we stopped making this factor we’re not allowed to do, however to simply acknowledge, like, Hey, we’re human, we’re going to be doing that. However let’s take into consideration really evaluate ourselves.
To our mentors, our coaches, others within the trade, particularly others within the trade, who’re making more cash, how we are able to evaluate ourselves in a productive manner. And what we need to take away from what different persons are doing and what we are able to see they’re doing. So if we’re simply their motion, so for instance, with Instagram, like I had talked about that in the event you’re considering, you already know, the variety of occasions a publish per week, and the sorts of photos that you just use, and the sorts of captions they write, say, they may write an extended caption, they may publish a photograph of themselves, an expert picture of themselves.
They may publish on tales like 5 occasions a day, and share sure belongings you could be considering that’s why they’re profitable. When actually, it’s the way in which they’re eager about themselves, their provide their prospects, their followers, their time. That’s what’s creating the end result. And so you may take a look at that introduce, what should they be considering for them to resolve that that was a good suggestion. And to additionally it’s so attention-grabbing to you even acknowledge that they may really be making the cash they’re making regardless of their Instagram technique, not due to it.
And we predict like, it’s this all or nothing considering in the event that they’re profitable they usually’re creating wealth, then every part they’re doing of their enterprise is correct when the fact is that there might be issues of their enterprise which can be doing the heavy lifting for them. They usually’re making them that cash coming from the ideas, they’re having the prime quality ideas, then there are issues that they’re doing, which can be really not working, it’s a mixture, it’s at all times a mixture, as a result of anybody in enterprise is at all times experimenting with issues.
So it’s at all times going to be a mixture. So there are some issues that aren’t working. They usually’re getting their outcomes, regardless of that factor, not working, which is nice information to know that we might be tremendous profitable and have a extremely massive affect with our enterprise with out every part needing to work. But when we take a look at it and assume, effectively, I’ve to repeat or need to do the identical as them for each single space as a result of it have to be working, you could be really following an Instagram technique that doesn’t even work for them, not to mention you.
Due to that each one on our theme, have been you eager about it. So as an alternative, we need to replicate on how they have to be considering. And for instance, if you’re listening to say, for instance, somebody speaking about Instagram technique, as a result of I’ve been utilizing that as the instance, if you’re listening to somebody speaking about that, as an alternative of specializing in what they are saying are the methods and techniques and issues to establish the way in which that they’re eager about themselves.
And their provide their prospects, their followers, their time and that facet of issues, greater than what they’re saying when it comes to primarily based on that his technique that they created. So for instance, in the event you have been to observe the identical technique, have them say that their technique is efficient for them on the subject of Instagram. However you don’t imagine that what you do is definitely useful for folks. And also you say you don’t imagine you could have an actual enterprise, you may observe precisely the identical technique, and it’s not going to work. Or you may observe it and it’ll work.
Regardless of once more, we don’t have to have excellent ideas with a view to have our enterprise be what we wish it to be in to realize our development objectives. However we need to be how they have to be considering. And so a number of examples of this, I simply need to share like experiences I’ve observed the place I might be eager about one thing in an analogous manner, after which come to a totally totally different conclusion. And the primary time I actually began to note this was as a college scholar, considered one of my actually pricey buddies, we have been unimaginable examine buddies collectively. And particularly with all our on the regulation facet, as a result of she didn’t do commerce as effectively.
So we did our regulation topics collectively. And we’d at all times speak about, you already know, for the assignments, what we’re going to do like what sort of strategy we’d take, and we’d brainstorm concepts and issues collectively. After which after we have been learning, we’d additionally do the identical. And it was so fascinating to me that we’d have a dialog. So we’d have like an hour brainstorming session. And we’d work out, Okay, I feel that is what the professor means with this subject. And we type of speak about these things and that stuff and no matter, then we’d go away, and we’d write the project, and we’ll come again.
And they’d be fully totally different, like fully totally different, despite the fact that we had been eager about it in an analogous manner that after we’re eager about it in that manner, by way of our personal information and filters and the way in which we take into consideration the world and the matters and all that, that we’d create a distinct end result. The identical I feel is basically true with me and my pal, Jen, who I’ve talked about on the podcast, considered one of my enterprise buddies who I am keen on a lot. And we’ve the perfect brainstorming tremendous considering classes collectively. So we speak about all kinds of issues. And it’s scary.
And hilarious how usually we’re on precisely the identical web page about issues. And it was humorous the opposite day message I used to be like it is advisable come on the podcast so we are able to chat about simplifying and decluttering your enterprise and like only a subject that I feel we’d each love to speak about collectively and be tremendous, tremendous useful to have it right here on the podcast. And I hadn’t met we hadn’t talked for perhaps like a month earlier than that. And she or he was like I simply had the thought 4 hours in the past as a result of so I had emailed her about that subject that I ought to go on.
Ship this podcast and speak about that. And that day that I had message out, like proper off the bat after we hadn’t spoken in so lengthy and so many issues like, Hey, do you occur to know your human designs, like I used to be that immediately. So anyway, we’re very a lot on the identical web page. And take into consideration issues, comparatively talking in a really related manner. And but, we’ve made such totally different choices when it comes to our enterprise fashions. And when it comes to the place we spend our time and various things like that.
And it simply jogs my memory at any time when that occurs, that it’s actually necessary to give attention to the considering as an alternative of specializing in the actions after we are evaluating ourselves to others to essentially concentrate or to decide on. However if you’re listening to them discuss, you’ll hear their beliefs all all through what they’re saying and likewise what they don’t seem to be saying. And to consider, okay, what beliefs may they’ve, underpinning these choices, that may very well be useful to me, after which adopting anybody do you assume could be useful and leaving the remaining, after which that being it to not then go, Okay, now I’ve to do, like, observe their precise Instagram technique.
So I hope that this may perhaps assist you to begin to discover once you could be seeking to others actions, and giving them credit score for the outcomes they’ve, as an alternative of how they have to be feeling and considering and to know that they’re not considering and feeling completely. And also you don’t have to both, you may create a extremely profitable enterprise with and that is one thing that Stacey Boehman, my coach says, like you may have a extremely profitable enterprise with a half managed thoughts or one thing like that.
That’s I discover that actually liberating. And it’s one thing we speak about on a regular basis in PGSD, that it’s not all or nothing, that you must be like, you’re doing this excellent self teaching and excellent planning and all of these items and you then might be profitable otherwise you’re by no means going to make it. It’s actually about there being layers to that and that you just undoubtedly like my enterprise is such an awesome instance of that I’ve launched my perfectionism handbrake in so some ways, and I really feel like I’m unrecognizable to 10 years in the past when it comes to that.
And but, I nonetheless have work that I’m doing. And I’ve been capable of create a number of success in my enterprise, I really feel very fulfilled in what I’m doing. And on the similar time, like there’s a piece to do. And it’s such as you could be a work in progress. And the belongings you do can work on the similar time. It’s not both you’re absolutely finished with all of your rising and all of the stuff, you’re studying about enterprise and also you’re profitable, otherwise you’ve acquired issues to study and also you’re not profitable. It’s figuring out that constructing your enterprise in a manner that feels best for you, is protected. It’s protected to try this. And that’s the principle message that I need you to have from this episode.
And there are such a lot of occasions that I’ve discovered myself , and that is why ought to the Instagram problem the instance doing precisely that when somebody is posting and the pictures they’re utilizing, the captions they’re writing the story technique they’re having considering like, Okay, I’ve to do those self same issues, as an alternative of eager about their enterprise mannequin and the way they give thought to themselves and the folks which can be serving to and their provide, and all of these various things, after which eager about my enterprise in that very same type of manner, and creating my very own technique, the sport.
And it was actually like a superb instance of once I’m really adopted, just about from the start. There’s been occasions the place it’s type of wavered a tiny bit, I might say, however for essentially the most half, this podcast, I’ve been so targeted on what feels greatest for me, even when different individuals who I love who make much more cash than me, who’re serving to extra folks than me do it differently, the place they’ve. So say, for instance, on the subject of a podcast, there are individuals who phrase for phrase, like write out a script, after which learn it off.
There are individuals who do 10 minute episodes or 20 minute episodes, there are individuals who solely do visitor interviews, there are such a lot of totally different variations, they usually all work. And so as an alternative of , okay, I say if you wish to begin a podcast. I’m going to start out a podcast and ship us one each week on a Monday. So Monday have to be the perfect day like no, I simply selected Monday. Prefer it’s all you already know, they’re primarily like half-hour, I simply made up that point is like type of what I’m eager about once I’m recording an episode. But it surely’s not primarily based on something explicit, it doesn’t imply that, like, we are able to’t experiment with issues, and or not it’s primarily based on one thing.
However after we take a look at that simply been this sure manner of doing issues and considering like that’s the one manner for it to achieve success, particularly if we find yourself in a little bit of an echo chamber on the subject of what we’re consuming. So perhaps all the podcasts that you just hearken to do it in a sure manner, or all the folks you observe on Instagram, notably in your trade do it a sure manner. It may very well be that that type of format is basically what resonates with you. But it surely is also {that a} totally different format, a distinct manner of doing issues is what feels greatest.
And for me, like I’ve tried at totally different occasions, doing extra notes the place I’ll, I don’t assume I’ve perhaps have a timeline the place I’ve scripted in any respect. I don’t know if I’ve it hasn’t been for an extended, like years. However I’ve tried various things I’ve experimented with what works for me. And what works for me greatest at this time limit, is once I’m simply chatting, and I’m not overthinking it. And at occasions I’m even eager about like having to when it comes to the matters I speak about needing to verify I’m overlaying newbie, not newbie issues however like foundational issues resembling perfectionism and the way that manifests and what that appears like.
After which in my thoughts, I’ve had a narrative about not desirous to spend, okay, spend an excessive amount of time type of out on the branches of the tree and I have to spend extra time on the trunk of the prepare simply even just lately, I’ve needed to be like, perhaps it’s okay, what I’m doing, and I may give myself permission to simply document episodes on what I really feel known as to document episodes on and belief, that’s going to go to the individuals who want to listen to it on the proper time. And actually, you already know, be one thing they wanted to listen to and that it’s most satisfying for me and to belief that it doesn’t need to really feel like a slog for me for it to be useful to another person.
And that once I discover that if I’m in my head about what matters to speak about, or having them be much less type of me sharing my very own journey and extra like right here’s what it is advisable do. Then it takes the enjoyable out of the podcast and figuring out that like we’re so programmed to assume that the extra enjoyable for me, the much less invaluable will probably be for the enterprise. And essentially the most invaluable factor goes to be the actually arduous factor that I don’t need to do and I feel like in PGSDers we do brave work, and never arduous work.
And distinguishing brave work. Brave work a number of occasions is letting issues be straightforward, and giving ourselves permission to do it our manner and giving ourselves permission to do it in only a tremendous flowy enjoyable manner, even when our mind is screaming at us, that it must really feel tougher, and that we’d like to consider it extra earlier than we do it. And as I’ve shared earlier than, just about after each podcast episode I document, even now we’re effectively over 300 episodes, my mind nonetheless has that chatter of like, that wasn’t ok, and all of that and simply ignoring that, like trusting myself sufficient to disregard these little moments of doubt that I’ve. And generally they’ve been massive moments of doubt, belief me.
However to belief myself sufficient that this manner can work. It’s to not say that if I didn’t learn, like if I learn off a script, and it was 20 minutes lengthy, or 10 minutes lengthy, and it had very clear factors or no matter, and I by no means went on a tangent, that would work too. For positive, it might work too. Or if I did an episode day by day, or if I did one episode a month, however like all of that would work, just like the alternative ways to make the blueberry muffin, all of them finish with a blueberry muffin. However that is the way in which that actually feels most creatively fulfilling for me and to belief that that can also be going to be of nice worth to you.
And it’s not okay, effectively, it’s both what’s credibly fulfilling for me. And I’m prepared to have a smaller enterprise due to it. It’s like this commerce off, am I placing these two issues in opposition. However as an alternative, it being that, what if being in inventive circulation and trusting our inventive instincts is definitely what would have us have an even bigger, extra profitable enterprise, there’s not this commerce off, that we’ve to grapple with. But it surely’s actually giving ourselves permission to do it in the way in which that feels greatest for us.
And to maintain doing that, even when like I’ve had individuals who likes in podcasts or reads, stuff occurring tangents, you’re not being clear about your factors, and also you’re simply rambling on and all this stuff like, it’s simply, you may have somebody instantly let you know like your manner isn’t the way in which. Your manner isn’t good, or this, these episodes are too low, what are all of the various things, and particularly when these issues have been my insecurities, that it’s and I share earlier than once I had like the primary destructive critiques of the podcast as a result of it feels so me.
And that is why we need to do it different folks’s manner. As a result of once I was doing it my manner, simply doing what I’m doing proper now, which is pulling out my microphone and chatting. And simply being myself that when somebody criticizes that it simply feels a lot extra shameful, than if I used to be doing like a scripted, or no matter model that didn’t really feel like me that would really feel so like another person.
But it surely didn’t really feel like me to try this. Then it’s type of like that buffer of a effectively, you already know, it’s not likely the way in which I need to do the podcast anyway. So if somebody’s criticizing, it’s like, yeah, you already know, that’s fantastic. However once you’re actually displaying up as your self and doing it the way in which that feels greatest for you, after we are criticize, and we might be, particularly because the enterprise grows, and that’s okay, when others when there are haters, and all that’s simply actually ceremony of passage.
However when that’s occurring, it’s simpler to be in disgrace about it. And that is why self like on the subject of our self discuss and disgrace resilient, and that’s one thing that we work on, as PGSDers, is figuring out that disgrace is a human emotion, we’re going to expertise it, there’s no approach to keep away from it. However we might be with ourselves in that have of it in order that it isn’t one thing we’ve, it isn’t so painful to be in disgrace. We don’t find yourself on this very dramatic disgrace as effectively that we’ve to go to all these lengths to keep away from it, which is basically what perfectionism is it’s a technique to keep away from disgrace.
And we satirically, really feel disgrace, a lot extra intensely. And we disgrace ourselves a lot when we’ve our perfectionism handbrake on, however doing that work in order that we are able to belief ourselves to really feel any feeling. And we are able to belief our future self and our current day self figuring out that we’re not going to guide ourselves astray. And figuring out that there are such a lot of alternative ways to get to our objectives that can work and why not do it in the way in which that we need to do it, and that feels nice to us. And I need to preserve saying like, sure, we’re gonna study issues from different folks.
And we are able to nonetheless put our personal taste on it and our personal spin on it. And that doesn’t imply that from the very first day that it is advisable try this. I coached a PGSDer on this that she was saying that for her content material that she was creating round her well being clinic, that she needed to verify her content material felt distinctive and genuine. And she or he didn’t simply need to repeat issues that she had realized from the examine that she had finished. She needed to verify it was actually true to her. And I used to be simply saying like, however how have you learnt but what’s true to you what’s genuine.
And going again to my blueberry muffin instance, to determine make blueberry muffins in the way in which that works for you. To start with, that is I imply, there are some individuals who simply know, they usually can simply get the elements collectively. However for many of us, you discover a recipe, you observe it, you discover a recipe, you observe it once more. After which as you retain doing that, say perhaps choose a recipe for muffins, you observe it like the primary thrice you’re simply following the recipe. After which perhaps after that you just’re like, Okay, really, I really feel prefer it’s a bit candy.
So I’m simply gonna see what occurs if I don’t put as a lot sugar in it. Or if I take the blueberries out, and I put choc chips in it, or if I take advantage of this almond flour as an alternative of plain flour, or no matter it’s, however to to begin with, prefer it’s okay to be following the recipe, and to not have your individual genuine spin on it from the start. After which when you try this increasingly more, then you’ll begin to determine okay, really, it feels extra like me and extra aligned to what I need to do to do it this manner. After which finally you may write your individual recipe.
And that’s actually, on the subject of enterprise and perfectionism, particularly that not that there was anybody been like, right here’s the recipe for releasing your perfectionism, which is why a giant motive why PGSD exists, as a result of I didn’t even know this was all a factor. And I couldn’t discover anybody to assist me with it. So anyway, it was nonetheless like taking totally different items of, you already know, different folks’s recipes and making these after which attempting that after which my very own variations on that to finally the purpose now, we’re about 10 years into engaged on my perfectionism having coached a whole bunch of individuals on theirs, that now I can share my very own recipe.
And that’s not the one approach to do it. And on the subject of in the event you’re in a advertising and marketing program, that’s not the one approach to do it. And it may be useful to observe a recipe, particularly the start. After which being conscious that you just may need to differ that and giving your self permission to try this. And yeah, I simply needed to share that as a result of there could be issues the place you’re like, I don’t even know what appears like the proper manner.
That is the place it’s such as you choose one thing and also you strive it. And once I began this podcast, I had already been running a blog in my enterprise for like 4 years I had been what else had I been doing. I had been doing YouTube movies, I had been doing Snapchat, lots like chatting on Snapchat, and different issues like that. In order that by the point I acquired to doing my podcast, I knew what I favored, I knew the place I did my greatest, which is once I’m not studying off a script or something like that.
I knew that the content material that I beloved the moist palms down. And there’s totally different sorts of content material for everybody. However I really like lengthy type. I really like when somebody’s simply chatting once you actually really feel like they’re your pal and also you get an perception into the behind the scenes and aren’t simply preaching at you. However they’re sharing with you their experiences. And there’s simply a lot consolation in that type of content material for me like I find it irresistible. I realized from it essentially the most. And that was a mode that I needed to create. However I didn’t know that once I began my enterprise.
And if I had created a podcast once I began my weblog in 2013 which I like there was no manner that was taking place. Like even simply beginning a weblog when nobody ever noticed my face I’ll have my voice felt like such a giant factor. And that’s why it took me so lengthy to start out a podcast as a result of I simply thought like, I can’t have a pod… like all these folks have podcasts. I’m nothing like them. They’re a lot… Like I didn’t have something to share this so significantly better than me extra skilled than me, I can’t similar to create my very own podcast. So it took me fairly some time to stand up the braveness to even begin a podcast. However by the point I did, I had found out for me what I resonated with essentially the most.
And I had finished sufficient experimenting on different platforms to know that I can chat for a very long time, about all these things with no need any type of notes, that I’ve actually given myself permission to document these with out modifying. And there are a number of individuals who influenced that like Tim Ferriss and Myleik Teele was most likely the largest one, her podcast and some different ones like that, the place it was simply chatty. And I simply beloved them a lot. And acknowledge that perhaps different folks might love mine with an analogous format.
However now there’s so many examples. Like they have been these examples, have been the least frequent ones. And likewise for me deciding, like, I wasn’t gonna have visitors on the podcast as a result of I really like doing solo episodes. I really like listening to solo episodes are most of any podcast, sure, a number of interviews. However for positive, if somebody has a solo episode versus an interview, I’ll at all times go for the solo episode. Lately, we’ve been having extra visitors on the podcast for thus lengthy, like the primary 300 episodes, just about I didn’t have any visitors on the podcast.
And so it’s similar to trusting your individual instinct on it. Letting your self study from others and like observe a recipe from another person, in the event you haven’t finished one thing earlier than, in the event you’re new to one thing, or if you wish to study a brand new approach to do it. After which when you’ve been following that recipe a bit of bit to begin to replicate on what variations really feel good to me with this, what I need to experiment with right here, to the purpose the place then sooner or later, you possibly can write your individual recipe not that you must, however you then find yourself with your individual manner of doing it.
That could be a variation of all of the various things that you’ve realized earlier than, however can also be your individual distinctive manner. And once more, to wrap as much as underline it’s protected to belief your self, you aren’t going to guide your self astray or down a path that you just don’t need to. You possibly can at all times get again to the place you’re proper now. There’s nothing like, there’s so few issues you possibly can do, that will damage your enterprise. Like after we’re in that each one or nothing considering.
It’s like, if I put one foot incorrect, then every part’s ruined. It doesn’t really work that manner. Enterprise is simply experimenting, it’s trial and error have been all in case you didn’t notice it. We’re all making it up. None of us know absolutely what we’re doing. And but on the similar time, everyone knows what we’re doing. Each of these issues are true on the similar time. And so I need you to essentially soak into that, to start out recognizing that you already know what to do, you’re nonetheless studying however you already know sufficient.
It’s protected to belief your self. Should you’re doing that Q&A together with your future self, have them have your current day self reply, I feel is essentially the most highly effective factor there. And to similar to in case you have been, that is what I’ll simply communicate in first individual, that’s what I’ve been doing is that I’ll notice with the podcast, I’ve been fairly nice with that when it comes to doing it the way in which that feels greatest to me although, as I stated, there are occasions the place I overthink totally different matters which can be random, no matter. However say with Instagram, for instance.
There are occasions the place I’m like, that is the way in which I need to do it, this feels greatest to me. After which I can discover myself simply getting like what others are doing and considering I have to do it that manner. And never trusting my manner of doing it. After which I come again I’ve a breakthrough. It’s thus far I used to be journaling about this the opposite day, I by no means have a breakthrough of like, I simply want to repeat that individual’s manner of doing it. The breakthrough is at all times I have to do it my manner. After which there are occasions that I then am like, oh, I take a look at this.
And I feel Instagram, notably the explanation Instagram, in addition to a platform that will get talked about lots inside PGSD. I feel it actually like the way in which it really works with the likes and the feedback and the engagement and that type of factor is that it appears like a way more judgmental platform in a manner for me that the podcast doesn’t and it’s simply the beliefs I’ve about it the story I’ve about it as a result of there are lots of people who’ve perfectionism round podcast episodes and I’ve undoubtedly had a few of that myself at occasions.
However with Instagram you get an prompt response with folks liking issues or not liking issues with folks commenting or not commenting with placing up a query field and nobody answering prefer it’s totally different to a podcast for instance, you simply get quite a few downloads, and that’s it. It’s not type of all of those feedback and various things occurring. So I’ve observed for me that I are likely to belief myself much less with that. And I’ve wanted to work extra actively on that. And that’s one thing that we’re engaged on behind the scenes for the time being.
On the time of recording this, by the point you’re listening to this, it’s most likely began rolling out what we’re doing. However noticing, you already know, simply how different folks say, to do issues, otherwise you’re simply watching how they do issues and comprehend it’s okay, that you just could be type of going backwards and forwards between the way in which that feels proper to you, and you then see another person doing one thing, you copy that for a bit. And you then return to love, have a breakthrough about, “No, I’m simply gonna do it my manner”. After which you end up once more, that’s okay. I’ve been there I’m there on a regular basis.
For it’s protected to belief your self to construct your enterprise your manner, there are such a lot of ways in which work. And in PGSD, we’re actually all about doing it in a manner that works for you that works on your life-style that works on your objectives that you’ve. You’re by no means doing one thing at your individual expense or existence expense. And likewise we do brave work. And that signifies that we do issues that we’ve resistance round which can be uncomfortable, however we’re not doing issues as a result of we must always do them.
We’re not overcomplicating, and doing that type of factor. We’re doing the brave stuff, which is usually extra occasions there not coming again to trusting ourselves. Doing it the straightforward manner, doing it the easy manner that normally takes extra braveness. So in the event you haven’t loved I stated that humorous, in case you have loved this episode, please take a screenshot and tag me on Insta, I’m @perfectionismproject. I hope you’re having a wonderful day and I’ll discuss to you within the subsequent episode.
Outro
If you’re able to get out of your individual manner in your enterprise, I need to invite you inside my productiveness program for perfectionist entrepreneurs known as Perfectionist Getting Shit Finished. Our subsequent enrollment is occurring for one week solely starting on the 4th of April 2025. To search out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
