Dialog with Kristina Amelong, creator What My Brother Knew
First, are you able to inform us about your brother, Jay? What sort of child was he, and what was your relationship like with him?
Jay was extraordinary. Whilst a toddler, he had magnetic, wise-beyond-his-years vitality that might draw you in. He was curious, artistic, and had an uncommon means to attach deeply with the folks and world round him. We had been shut in the way in which siblings usually are—sharing secrets and techniques, squabbling, and constructing desires collectively—however there was additionally a reverence I held for him. I didn’t absolutely perceive it on the time, however Jay had a readability about life and dying that was uncommon, virtually otherworldly.
Jay had a stunningly correct prediction of his personal dying – he mentioned a inexperienced automotive would hit him whereas driving his bike. Do you keep in mind the second you made the connection that what he had foreseen had really unfolded? Did others consider you if you spoke about Jay’s premonition?
The second it occurred was surreal. I didn’t simply make the connection—it slammed into me like a wave. I keep in mind the small print, how eerily they matched what Jay had mentioned. It was each devastating and bizarrely affirming, as if he had recognized one thing none of us may comprehend. At first, I hesitated to speak about it—the thought of a 13-year-old predicting his dying remains to be laborious to understand. After I lastly did, folks had blended reactions. Some believed me, whereas others thought it was simply grief taking part in methods with my reminiscence.
How did this prediction — and Jay’s passing — form your understanding of life, dying and the unexplained? How did it influence your philosophical and non secular beliefs?
It utterly unraveled and rewove my understanding of existence. Jay’s premonition pressured me to query the whole lot I believed I knew about actuality, time, and consciousness. Over time, it pushed me towards exploring philosophies like Donald Hoffman’s concept of Acutely aware Realism, quantum physics, and the idea of a cosmic tapestry the place the whole lot is interconnected. It additionally deepened my appreciation for the thriller of life and dying—how they aren’t opposites however intertwined features of the identical infinite course of.
At one level in your life, you realized that you just hadn’t talked about Jay’s dying in depth with anybody who really knew him. What was it wish to reconnect with buddies who grew up with him?
Reconnecting was each painful and therapeutic. It felt like opening an outdated wound, however on the identical time, it allowed me to see Jay by means of others’ eyes. Listening to their tales and reminiscences created a fuller image of who he was and the way his presence touched these round him. It additionally jogged my memory that grief isn’t linear—it’s a shared expertise that evolves over time.
Do you consider in indicators and synchronicities, moments of perception from the universe? How can we acknowledge and interpret these indicators? How do you discern which indicators to embrace as significant and which to chalk as much as mere coincidence?
Completely. I consider indicators and synchronicities are the universe’s method of speaking with us, guiding us towards progress and understanding. Recognizing them requires stillness, presence, and belief in your instinct. To discern their which means, I ask myself whether or not the expertise resonates deeply or aligns with one thing I’ve been considering. When a “signal” feels alive with which means, I embrace it as a present.
What position did nature play in your non secular awakening? Is that this an strategy others can depend on in their very own journey by means of grief and emotional transformation?
Nature was and nonetheless is my sanctuary—a spot the place I really feel held and understood. Strolling on frozen lakes with my canines or tending flowers in my yard connects me to one thing bigger than myself. Nature’s cycles of progress, decay, and renewal mirrored my very own therapeutic course of. I believe anybody can discover solace and transformation in nature. It reminds us of our place on the earth and the rhythms that unite all residing issues.
How does your ebook discover self love and compassion?
The journey of therapeutic from trauma and loss calls for self-love and compassion. My memoir is, in some ways, a love letter to my youthful self—acknowledging her ache, celebrating her resilience, and forgiving her struggles. By sharing my story, I hope to indicate readers that self-compassion is the muse for deeper therapeutic and connection.
How did you keep motivated in your non secular journey with out changing into cynical? Did you expertise moments of reluctance, doubt and frustration? How did you deal with that?
After all! There have been instances I felt misplaced, doubted my path, or wished to surrender—a few of these are within the memoir. I realized to lean into these moments as a substitute of resisting them. Practices like contemplative writing, pictures, and connecting with supportive communities helped me navigate the uncertainty. Generally I used to be capable of meet a brand new trainer at a crucial second. I at all times tried to recollect the larger image: that progress and transformation are potential, even and particularly within the darkest instances, and each being is on an everlasting journey.
Why do you suppose many individuals concern dying a lot? Ought to we?
I believe concern of dying stems from the unknown and from our attachment to the fabric world. However what if dying isn’t an finish, however a transition? Jay’s story taught me that dying holds a profound thriller—one which underscores the great thing about life. As a substitute of fearing it, we will view it as a trainer, inviting us to stay extra absolutely.
What do you suppose occurs once we die? How did you come to that perception?
I consider consciousness continues in some kind, woven into the material of the universe. Jay’s premonition and the synchronicities I’ve skilled have proven me that there’s extra to existence than we will see or perceive. A lot is unknown, and my perception isn’t inflexible; it’s an evolving understanding, open to awe and discovery. I do know definitely that, as my trainer Dr. Marc Gafni says, we stay in an intimate universe and our tales are chapter and verse within the universe’s story.
Whereas scripting this ebook, you realized loads about your brother, his life and his dying. Are there nonetheless unanswered questions that linger in your thoughts?
Sure, and I believe there at all times will probably be. Jay’s dying left me with questions which may by no means be answered, however I’ve realized to search out peace within the not-knowing. It’s within the area of thriller that we will join most deeply with the which means behind our existence.
What do you hope readers take away out of your ebook?
Jay. His story. I would like readers to actually really feel and consider that every life is a part of a profound thriller, that who we’re issues. I hope readers really feel much less alone of their ache and extra related to the gorgeous and unknown qualities of life. I would like them to see that therapeutic is feasible, that love transcends even the best tragedy, and that each loss, irrespective of how painful, has the potential to light up a path ahead.
How have you ever modified because you wrote the ebook?
Writing “What My Brother Knew” was a profound expertise, however since ending it, I’ve been reluctant to reread it. My writing has at all times felt like a ghost I’m afraid to fulfill—a mirrored image of my ache and resilience that feels too uncooked to revisit. For years, I averted it, afraid of being haunted by the feelings it would stir.
After I lastly reread it, one thing shifted. As a substitute of concern, I felt reduction. I got here to re-embrace the profundity of holding Jay’s story by myself for therefore a few years. Jay wished us to know what he knew—that his premonition, his life, and even his dying are presents he shared to awaken one thing in us. Now that the ebook is about to be revealed, I really feel like I’m not strolling alone anymore. Jay’s story now not lives solely in my physique; it’s taken form within the type of a ebook and shortly it’s going to stay within the palms and hearts of others. Sharing Jay with the world is bringing ever larger therapeutic.
