Not too long ago, a shopper sat throughout from me, tense and annoyed: “I meditate, I journal, I attempt to reframe my ideas, however this anxiousness and mind fog received’t go away. What am I lacking?”
I’ve heard variations of that line lots of of occasions. Excessive-functioning, self-aware individuals who’ve learn the books, accomplished the work, ticked all of the containers, however nonetheless discover themselves overwhelmed, disconnected, or caught in patterns of tension, burnout, or numbness.
And the widespread thread? Determined makes an attempt to repair, treatment, and clear up. In our medicalized tradition, we see discomfort as an issue to be eradicated, a symptom to be handled. Emotion is seen in the identical mild as one thing to handle, suppress, or repair.
However what if emotion isn’t the issue? What if it’s the lacking piece?
We have a tendency to think about emotion as a glitch within the system, one thing reactive, irrational, and even harmful. One thing that will get in the way in which of logic, productiveness, or peace. However what if emotion is a type of intelligence? Not a flaw, however a compass?
It could be time to shift perspective. Quite than viewing feelings as the results of distorted considering or random waves of discomfort that move via your physique, may you be open to the thought of emotion as a way, primal but profound?
The Physique Feels First
A typical understanding means that feelings comply with ideas. However science challenges this concept. Emotional processing happens at greater speeds than cognitive processing. Which means that emotion usually arises earlier than we’ve had an opportunity to consider something in any respect. The physique feels first.
Your chest tightens, your abdomen clenches, your breath shortens, lengthy earlier than a acutely aware thought kinds. Antonio Damasio, a number one neuroscientist, described these emotional indicators as somatic markers—the physique’s manner of flagging significant experiences earlier than we are able to consciously clarify them.
You stroll right into a room and turn out to be uneasy, though every thing appears “effective.” Otherwise you’re confronted with a choice and really feel an intuitive nudge, earlier than any evaluation begins. These aren’t simply fleeting moods. They’re indicators. Messages. Data.
We’re not taught to hearken to emotion as suggestions. We’re taught to override it. Be optimistic. Push via. Resist and suppress. However after we do this, we miss the very steering system that’s constructed to assist us navigate life extra authentically.
Your physique or nervous system is frequently scanning your surroundings for indicators of risk or hazard. This neuroception, as educational Stephen Porges defines it, takes place outdoors of acutely aware consciousness.
What Occurs When We Ignore Emotion?
Once we suppress what we really feel, the vitality doesn’t disappear; it simply will get trapped. Within the physique. Within the nervous system. Impacting cognitive functioning, temper, and well-being.
Rising analysis means that the physique’s fascia—its connective tissue community—can retailer emotional “reminiscences.” When fascia tightens below power stress or trauma, it might entice emotional residue, main not simply to ache however distortions in vitality and temper.
Purchasers usually come to me with power pressure, fatigue, problem sleeping, or digestive points. These challenges not often come up from a single incident or second in time. Quite, they consequence from a backlog of unconsciously unprocessed emotion. A cumulative load of their stress bucket.
It’s not that the feelings are “unhealthy”; they have been overwhelming on the time, and the person was by no means in a position to transfer via them.
Why Do We Suppress Emotion?
In our tradition, suppression is widespread. We’re skilled to “keep calm,” “hold it collectively,” and “be optimistic.” However emotion doesn’t disappear when ignored; it lodges within the physique, unresolved.
Past that, many people have skilled earlier life trauma and stress. The legacy of that is that we study it’s not protected to really feel, to completely be who we’re, or to be current in our our bodies.
We come to consider that feelings are unhealthy for us. We’ll drown in them if we let ourselves really feel. They imply one thing about us that we don’t like. And, critically, from a younger age, we study to override our feelings as a result of we consider there’s nothing we are able to do about them.
However what if we shift in direction of seeing feelings as suggestions? As a way that guides us again to our inside navigation system?
Emotion Is Knowledge
Worry would possibly present you there’s one thing unknown that wants exploring.
Anger may very well be telling you {that a} boundary has been crossed.
Unhappiness is perhaps the pure technique of letting go of one thing significant.
Once we meet these indicators with curiosity as a substitute of concern and resistance, one thing shifts. Emotion begins to maneuver. We get extra readability. We really feel much less at battle with ourselves.
Emotion is one thing you might be experiencing.
What Occurs When We Permit the Energy of Emotion?
Once we cease pushing emotion away, we make room for perception, for presence, for authenticity. And infrequently, what we discover just isn’t chaos, however readability.
Permitting emotion isn’t indulgent. It’s a return to wholeness. It’s a message to ourselves that we’re protected, that we’re allowed to be right here, even after we really feel messy or unsure.
By permitting emotion, we’re, in essence, permitting ourselves. Each time we suppress or invalidate what we really feel, we ship a refined sign inward: “This a part of me is unsuitable. This half shouldn’t exist.” Over time, this undermines our sense of price and self-trust, as a result of how we deal with our feelings is a mirrored image of how we deal with ourselves.
Once we honor and permit what arises, we give permission, and we start to reclaim one thing deeper. We ship a brand new message inward: “You exist. You’re worthy. You’re allowed to be, simply as you might be.” That act of self-acceptance has a ripple impact. It builds self-trust, wiser motion, and calmer presence. It improves how we present up in relationships. It modifications how we lead. It strengthens our sense of interior coherence and peace.
Feelings don’t have to be solved or suppressed. They have to be welcomed and accepted. Once we do this, we come house to ourselves.
That’s why, in my opinion, it’s your most underrated superpower.
