As we speak, I’m sharing one of many largest classes I’ve discovered in 2024 — and the way it’s reshaped my strategy to enterprise, parenting, and life. You’ll additionally study untangling your self-worth from achievement (which is so essential for perfectionists), why sufficiency is the important thing to confidence and readability, and how you can obtain from a spot of self-trust and connection moderately than judgment and disgrace.
For those who’ve ever felt caught within the cycle of overthinking, procrastination, or burnout, this episode will encourage you to strategy success from an entire new perspective. Tune in at the moment.
Discover the total episode transcript and present notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode506.
What To Do Subsequent
For those who’re able to get out of your individual approach in what you are promoting, you need to be part of my productiveness program for perfectionists who’re constructing companies known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed. Click on right here to seek out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist at the moment: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
Hear To The Episode
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Challenge, a podcast filled with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown. I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake to allow them to get out of their very own approach and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed group teaching program, which is in any other case often known as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that can assist you with what you are promoting, you possibly can comply with me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown – (Begin of episode)
[00:00:29] So what I need to do is simply share one of many largest classes for me from 2024 and what I truly deliberate to do was have this episode exit on the regular time on Monday morning Australian time or Sunday night for those who’re within the US and I used to be going to document it final week. And I simply needed to relaxation.
[00:00:49] I apply what I used to be preaching in the latest episode on clear relaxation. I’ve simply had nearly two weeks utterly off, absolutely switched off my enterprise mentally. And in addition like, I haven’t achieved any work and my plan had been that if I needed to do some self teaching round enterprise and a few reflecting that I might do this, however I didn’t must do it if I didn’t need to.
[00:01:12] And I simply felt like doing different issues. So what I did is determined on my subsequent work day, which is at the moment. It’s truly New 12 months’s Eve, uh, that I’d document this episode and do some reflecting and issues like that. And so that’s what I’ve been doing. And I initially deliberate to document this episode on like a complete take a look at the 12 months when it comes to classes and for myself and to select people who I believe can be strongest.
[00:01:38] However what I even have had come to me as I’ve been reflecting on it, similar to behind my thoughts, like what are my largest enterprise classes. from this 12 months that the factor that has come up for me, which has felt like form of like peeling again layers of an onion is that this query that I’ve been requested in all probability since I began teaching by shoppers who ask me, how do you untangle your self value from achievement?
[00:02:08] That is without doubt one of the issues that we perfectionists, we, wind up getting ourselves all tousled as a result of we simply need to obtain as a method to really feel beloved, as a method to really feel reference to ourself, particularly with ourselves. We’re judging ourselves and beating ourselves up if we’re not attaining. So we wish that connection from ourselves.
[00:02:30] We would like that connection and validation and love from others. And so a variety of us perfectionists are excessive achievers who’ve achieved a variety of success of their life and never a lot failure. And sometimes that’s as a result of we as perfectionists are likely to keep away from areas of life or tasks the place we’d fail. So anyway, I’m always requested this query and it’s one thing I’ve had completely different solutions to at completely different phases alongside my very own private improvement journey and my very own journey with perfectionism.
[00:03:00] And I imagine the solutions that I’ve given have been so useful and I really feel like I’ve simply obtained the following layer to it. this 12 months, which I actually need to share. So what I’ve answered earlier than, and this is sort of a massive purpose that clear relaxation, which is when you’re taking time away from what you are promoting, you’re growing your private life, you’re exploring your hobbies, you’re feeling your emotions.
[00:03:21] Such as you simply construct a life for your self exterior of enterprise that that clear relaxation time is basically, actually, actually essential. And I nonetheless wholeheartedly imagine that. And the following layer of that, that I’ve skilled in a painful approach, however in a really mandatory one, it’s like, okay, the query is how, as I discussed, how do you untangle or detach your self value from achievement?
[00:03:48] And the reply that got here to me the opposite day, as I used to be simply pottering about in my little veggie backyard is that the best way to try this is to undergo a interval of feeling such as you’re not attaining and to must. Discover one other method to establish your self to consider your self to must Get that validation approval love connection from others, however particularly from ourselves Like I simply assume as perfectionists the increasingly more I perceive about like all we wish is our personal goddamn approval All we wish as a lot as it could actually manifest as you need your mother and father approval.
[00:04:24] You need society’s approval? You need your pals approval? you need all that validation. It’s due to what we make it imply about ourselves after we get that and the best way we take into consideration ourselves and the connection we have now with ourselves after we really feel validated by others. So anyway, I used to be simply considering like, it truly is the lesson I’ve discovered.
[00:04:42] I’m laughing as a result of it was simply being so painful, however I’d actually really feel like within the final couple of months, I’ve simply popped out of the opposite facet of doing a lot self teaching, getting coach. Feeling my emotions, all of the issues, uh, that I assist my shoppers with and thru doing that and persisting with it and going via it, that I simply really feel like the reply to that query is to undergo a interval of not attaining and never that I actually have objectively within the enterprise.
[00:05:16] And I’m going to do one other episode debriefing just like the funds and like the place issues are at enterprise sensible. However actually from the skin my enterprise remains to be profitable and from the within as effectively However the story I’ve had for about two years is that I’m not succeeding and that I used to be Succeeding and I’m not anymore and that felt much more painful than to not be succeeding within the first place So like once I was constructing the enterprise And I’ve by no means created enterprise success earlier than that.
[00:05:48] It was actually painful to really feel like I wasn’t profitable within the enterprise, however it felt much more painful as soon as I used to be profitable in my thoughts. After which I made a decision that I wasn’t profitable once more in my thoughts. And to really feel like my previous self had outperformed my current day self versus simply feeling like my current day self couldn’t carry out.
[00:06:11] And the opposite epiphany as effectively, that I used to be simply form of what I used to be watching. However when we have now this thought as perfectionists, like teaching this so usually that I’m behind, I must be additional alongside, that that’s actually simply this disgrace that comes from feeling such as you’re underperforming, feeling like, or believing that, considering that.
[00:06:30] you aren’t measuring up and assembly expectations, therefore why you might be behind. Like, what’s the explanation you’re behind? Since you’re underperforming, since you’re incapable, since you’re not clever sufficient or no matter particular taste that takes for you. And so with all of this, and simply this realization about like, Oh, my id had been And has been so connected to the enterprise that basically just like the enterprise.
[00:06:59] And I’ve three children, I’ve a husband, I’ve buddies, I’ve a private life. I work three days per week. So I’ve 4 days the place I’m doing different issues. Utterly, I’d say I do have a private life exterior of my enterprise. I’ve that clear relaxation And but, particularly once I wasn’t feeling like I used to be succeeding within the enterprise I’ve spent a lot psychological power in that point making an attempt to sort things The enterprise making an attempt to determine it out making an attempt to lastly get it proper making an attempt to not be underperforming making an attempt to not be Doing all of the issues I shouldn’t be doing And so what it has meant is that my id with out me even realizing it as a result of Like so many individuals who’ll be listening I like my enterprise.
[00:07:43] I like what I do. I like the shoppers I assist. Like I’m actually engaged with it. I’m actually interested by it. Prefer it simply looks like the right factor for me to be doing professionally. So it’s very straightforward to form of simply let myself then be enthusiastic about it on a regular basis. and all of that, however what I’ve actually come to understand and actually come to see via a variety of only in the near past, like discovering sufficiency with the place all the things is, like truly celebrating myself and never from this place of like, effectively, you probably did the very best you possibly can, such as you didn’t do effectively, however you probably did wonderful.
[00:08:18] However truly feeling in my physique, just like the self appreciation validating myself, seeing myself truly like, appreciating myself and what I’ve been in a position to do once I’ve achieved all of the sufficiency work and actually obtained into a spot the place I’m not feeling behind. I don’t really feel behind. I simply, and I do know I really feel prefer it’s an enormous assertion from perfectionists to say, I don’t really feel behind.
[00:08:44] I don’t really feel like I must rush. And that’s not as a result of the enterprise is doing higher than it ever has Circumstantially when it comes to income. It’s not doing higher than it ever has earlier than, however I’m doing higher than I ever have earlier than. As a result of earlier than when the enterprise was making extra income than it’s now, I additionally had my id very connected to the enterprise.
[00:09:09] And that didn’t appear to be an issue as a result of the enterprise was succeeding that I used to be like, okay, effectively, I really feel ample. Additionally on the time once I mirror again, I used to be feeling like issues aren’t working. I’ve to determine it out, however in the end I did have a variety of sufficiency in that point, however it was form of predicated on this.
[00:09:25] Attachment to the enterprise succeeding. So I felt profitable, so I felt like I might chill out extra in my private time. And now what I’ve needed to be taught, like the following layer of that, and naturally, this might be the lesson for me that I would want to be taught so I can educate it to different perfectionists. However as soon as I obtained that, it’s like, okay, now how do you relate to your self while you’re not succeeding?
[00:09:45] That’s nice. You discovered how you can go from not taking motion to taking motion. And then you definitely’ve gone from taking motion in what you are promoting that doesn’t actually lead to gross sales to taking motion that does lead to gross sales, which is now what I’m serving to one on one shoppers with. And then you definitely’ve had that have you ever make a whole bunch of 1000’s of {dollars} in a 12 months working three days per week and doing that a number of years in a row.
[00:10:10] Okay, and now how do you relate to your self when issues really feel rather a lot tougher? If you find yourself feeling like and similar to not trusting your self anymore and all of this and like okay and the way’s your relationship with your self now it’s like you possibly can have a very nice relationship together with your companion or together with your children or with a pal when all the things goes amazingly however what’s your relationship like when issues are exhausting when certainly one of you or each of you might be failing while you’re in that tough spot.
[00:10:40] And for me, it simply unveiled a variety of considering that wanted to be work on, labored on and emotions that wanted to be processed as effectively. And so when it got here to actually like for the final two years, I’d say Feeling like I simply wanted to place a lot strain on myself to be higher I’ve talked about this in several episodes of the podcast So for those who’ve been listening alongside none of this shall be information to you However simply placing a lot strain on myself to be like performing higher than I ever had earlier than although I’d simply given delivery to the twins and like all these various things that However in the end now, I really feel like I’m simply in a spot of a lot sufficiency, a lot okayness with the place the enterprise is.
[00:11:24] I don’t really feel rushed. I don’t really feel like I’ve to be higher than I’m. And I really feel extra trusting of myself. than ever earlier than. I’ve been speaking about this with fairly just a few of my one on one teaching shoppers of this distinction between nitpicking and questioning your self, which comes from insufficiency, inadequacy, and believing that try to be doing higher versus bettering from a spot of sufficiency, bettering from a spot of being related with your self and trusting your self.
[00:11:55] And as perfectionists, we frequently have achieved all of our, excessive attaining issues via this place of beating ourselves up, judging ourselves and shaming ourselves. And so the lesson then turns into, okay, how do I obtain? Trigger we need to maintain attaining, however how can we obtain from a a lot more healthy place the place we obtain in a approach that creates extra reference to ourselves and never much less reference to ourselves or not this sort of conditional connection and conditional love with ourselves of like, I’ll love me if I’m performing.
[00:12:27] If I’m not performing, I can’t love me. And so having this shift, I simply really feel like in such a spot going into 2025 and ending 2024 of simply feeling like I do know what I’m doing. I. can belief myself deeply and from that place i’m going to upskill probably the most i’m going to be taught probably the most i truly need to problem myself in a productive approach however i’m in a spot of self belief as a result of i belief that even when i fail at that problem that i shall be okay versus being concerned that if I fail at that problem, I’m going to get a beat up from my future self and all this judgment and disgrace.
[00:13:12] And so then in that scenario, I don’t even attempt to problem myself as a result of I’m so nervous of what is going to occur if I fail at that problem. So I do know as effectively via now, 10 years or greater than that, I began my enterprise in 2013. 11 years in enterprise and far of that being private improvement and utilizing enterprise as a method to develop personally, that when I’m in a spot of sufficiency and self belief, I do the very best in enterprise.
[00:13:45] Approach higher than once I’m making an attempt to get it proper and making an attempt simply on this like actually harassed tense state of making an attempt to do the fitting factor and making an attempt to get the technique proper and simply making an attempt to Be higher that once I truly belief myself, I’m rather more intuitive. And within the female power, I nonetheless love the construction.
[00:14:05] I like versatile construction. That’s what energy planning is about. It’s a versatile planning technique so that you’ve got construction, however then you might have a lot flexibility inside that construction so to comply with your instinct. If that’s what you love to do, you possibly can transfer issues round. You will get extra relaxation or work extra like.
[00:14:23] Change the plans as you go, however I like having a plan after which having the allowance from myself to adapt the plan In order that’s actually i’m going to do an episode on what my plans are for 2025 However that’s actually what i’m enthusiastic about as effectively for the 12 months is having versatile construction that basically helps me much more to belief myself, to indicate up, to really feel the sentiments, to do all of the issues which might be completely important for enterprise development and never even essentially development.
[00:14:57] I’ll speak about that extra in that episode, however actually like having a enterprise of ease, enjoyable, which is a phrase that like, I by no means speak on this podcast about having extra enjoyable. Like that simply hasn’t even been a paradigm that I’ve been considering in, that it’s like, Sure, what would it not appear like if it was straightforward, however having extra enjoyable and the way can I’ve enjoyable whereas constructing my enterprise is one thing I simply must work so exhausting to try to get my mind to consider.
[00:15:26] However that may be a major query that I’m going into the brand new 12 months with of how can I’ve or not it’s funner and simpler and lighter and fewer dramatic. And an enormous a part of this as effectively, bringing it again to the general lesson and simply that query of like, how do you untangle it? Yeah. It’s having a life exterior of enterprise.
[00:15:48] And what I’ve realized and seen is that my, due to my id and so connected to the enterprise, I’ve different issues happening in my private life and I’ve engaged with them and all of that, however I haven’t truly been giving the remainder of my life the eye it deserves as a result of I’ve been so overly targeted on the enterprise.
[00:16:10] And there are completely different seasons of life the place you need to be targeted on various things. And the best way I give it some thought is it’s by no means going to be precisely good, give attention to all of the completely different areas the identical quantity. There are going to be seasons the place it’s like, Hey, that is actually like a profession improvement, enterprise improvement, skilled season for me.
[00:16:26] Or that is actually about household for me. Or that is actually about well being for me. Like I believe it’s very regular to have one portion of that. Be greater than the others and to have a give attention to that, transferring the needle in that approach, or simply actually being all in on that space. After which naturally because the seasons change, you’ll then enter a season the place you’re specializing in one thing completely different.
[00:16:46] And so earlier than I had children, for me, that season that I used to be in was actually specializing in the enterprise. And now I’m actually in a household season, having three little ones and simply eager to spend time with them and with my husband, Steve. And so, With this seasons and enthusiastic about it that approach i’ve simply been like, oh However I haven’t truly although i’m in a household season And I work three days per week on my enterprise.
[00:17:12] So I spend most of my time Having time with the children I’ve 4 days full days that i’m with the children and I see them each morning and each night on my work days So I’ve a variety of time however in my mind I’m nonetheless solely like fixing enterprise issues in my head and that i’m solely enthusiastic about You And never solely, however primarily in terms of transferring issues ahead and all of that, I’m caring for the remainder of my life, however I’m not enthusiastic about it and like difficult myself or like rising in several areas that I must develop personally that aren’t enterprise associated.
[00:17:45] And so what I’m going to be doing from this lesson of simply seeing like, Oh, truly, I don’t need to have all my id wrapped up within the enterprise. And I don’t need to have all of it wrapped up in being a mother both. I need to have. My very own id as effectively Past these two issues like these are completely different areas of my life However what else do I like doing and exploring?
[00:18:07] And I believe a variety of occasions as mothers and as mother and father typically, we’re advised like, Oh yeah, effectively, you understand, that’s not likely the time to be enthusiastic about you. And like, you understand, after all you don’t have hobbies and all of this. And I simply don’t see why that needs to be true as a result of. It’s such an essential a part of being a human is having completely different aspects of your id and your life.
[00:18:29] And you’ll embody your loved ones with them, or you possibly can overlap it with enterprise. And it can be utterly separate. However I noticed as effectively in the latest episode I did about having non parenting non enterprise time. And I mentioned, I don’t have a lot of it. Simply listening to myself say that on an episode, I used to be like, is that true?
[00:18:48] Like, do I believe that’s truly true? And sure, there are methods. I can do to have extra time, however like what’s the result of that thought and all the things like that. And so I received’t go into it an excessive amount of on this episode. However what I noticed is that once I’m considering that thought, when I’ve time that’s not enterprise time and never parenting time, I have a tendency to not use it rather well as a result of I don’t actually know what I need to do with it.
[00:19:12] I additionally don’t actually make extra of that point once more, as a result of I don’t actually know what I need to do with it past similar to, you understand, engaged on issues that will assist me be a greater guardian or like doing stuff for the children and all of that. Like I don’t have hobbies and issues like that. And simply actually seeing how, like, I even have a variety of non parenting, non enterprise time in my day off that I’ve simply had.
[00:19:35] Even simply, like, randomly all through the day. I simply, particularly a day once I had the children on my own, I used to be like, proper now I’m not working and I’m not parenting. Even when the children have been round me, I’m like, however actually I’m not parenting, I’m similar to, they’re enjoying and I’m simply sitting right here. Oh, like I’m having a bathe or I’m doing a exercise or I’ve two and a half hours or no matter after they’re napping.
[00:19:57] So simply issues like that. Anyway, that is only a actually chatty episode. We up to date you on my lesson from the 12 months. So I hope it’s useful to listen to me speak via it, however Relating to how I’m making use of that is to really Proper dimension so to talk or like reduce my give attention to the enterprise And have extra focus In my private life and have extra presence mentally Not similar to being current and listening to what different individuals are saying or like Being current when, once I’m with the children, however like having private tasks that I’m engaged on and transferring ahead, like engaged on my private improvement personally, that there’s mindset work for positive to be achieved in my private life that I believe for me as effectively, what’s been most comfy.
[00:20:46] to do my private improvement is to do it via the enterprise. And now I’m at this level, and once I say via the enterprise, I imply via the method of rising a enterprise, I’ve needed to overcome so most of the thought patterns that have been unhelpful. And I’ve discovered a lot about myself that has benefited all areas of my life.
[00:21:06] Prefer it has been an unbelievable private improvement instrument that has benefited each space of my life. And now I’m at a spot the place I can truly immediately, I really feel like I’ve the self belief and the power to assist myself to immediately get teaching as effectively on no matter private space I must have teaching on or need extra assist in versus having the enterprise be my solely alternative.
[00:21:31] or my essential private improvement instrument, if that is sensible. So what I’m going to be doing from this as effectively is simply having 2025, I’ll speak about this extra in that episode, however have or not it’s a 12 months of like exploring hobbies, like getting again into my veggie backyard, which I discussed earlier than, like having that.
[00:21:51] truly be one thing that I’m not similar to doing and like, Oh yeah, I would like to recollect to water my vegetation. However like truly the best way that I interact with enterprise, for instance, that I’m doing that with that, that I’m watching like YouTube movies on how you can develop trigger lettuce with out it bolting, which is what simply occurred to mine the place it thinks it’s going to die.
[00:22:10] After which it like, trigger it was too sizzling. Then it like begins rising up actually quick. to go to seed as a result of it thinks it’s about to die. So it’s making an attempt to breed, have the seeds and all of that. Anyway, so simply truly letting myself study these issues. And there are different hobbies that I’ve had as effectively that I’ve dropped through the years or simply not been as targeted on.
[00:22:31] I’ve been doing a lot studying. I’ve been studying about one e book per week. a fiction e book lately, Darling Ladies by Sally Hepworth is so good. Simply learn that. Um, so, oh, and the Nightingale, I simply completed by Kristen Hannah. So good. Oh my God. That e book has modified me. I like that e book. Um, so anyway, I’ve been doing a variety of studying as a result of I used to be like, I establish so strongly as a reader each time I do a perfect day train, It entails studying and but I used to be like I’ve learn like one e book within the final 12 months like my My id round it and who I need to be isn’t truly reflecting in my actuality that I’m somebody who buys books and all of that, however I’m not studying them.
[00:23:19] So like, I’m truly going to prioritize studying, um, doing exercises, like exhausting exercises, and similar to caring for myself in that approach. Prioritizing that once more, there’s simply a lot of issues that I’ve both deprioritized or I haven’t explored. Um, like there’s some inside design issues, um, that I need to do in the home that we completed the in on the finish of 2021.
[00:23:43] Lydia was six months outdated and we moved again in and I’ve had a plan for sure rooms of just like the hallway. For instance, I’ve concepts and, um, I’ve appeared on Pinterest and all these various things of like what I need to have within the hallway, however then I haven’t truly achieved it and in our bed room as effectively.
[00:24:01] And some issues like that, that I truly simply need to. transfer a variety of private tasks which have been dormant ahead, create new ones, do, I like doing DIY stuff and studying extra about like utilizing the instruments and all of the various things, um, and DIY YouTube channels, stuff like that. So I simply really feel like for me this 12 months, and I need to say even like December, Has been just like the crystallizing of so many classes from a two 12 months interval of feeling like I used to be failing as a result of I used to be telling myself I used to be failing as a result of I wasn’t assembly a made up commonplace that I made up for myself.
[00:24:42] After which truly being like, Oh, wait, that’s only a thought that I’m considering, as a result of I used to be similar to, okay, as soon as the enterprise is best, then I’ll really feel higher. And that thought sample didn’t assist me make the enterprise higher. It simply had me spinning my wheels, doing a lot of planning after which being rushed to execute issues I’ve talked podcast.
[00:25:03] As effectively in like I believe the final launch debrief episode that I did as effectively. I’ve talked about this a bit uh, however simply discovering myself on this cycle of like eager to have Needing to have a money injection as a result of I simply hadn’t been Specializing in foundational issues after which being like, oh wait We want additional cash within the enterprise after which doing one thing to supply that after which producing that Feeling a way of aid after which like a month later being like, oh wait, we have to do it once more And so what I needed to do You Was simply carry myself to a spot of sufficiency with how all the things was Not this sufficiency that we are able to do that as perfectionists.
[00:25:40] It’s form of this like going to the longer term In your mind to try to discover sufficiency now, so for instance Like permitting your self to really feel okay now as a result of okay subsequent 12 months goes to be so good Like we love doing this within the new 12 months 2025 goes to be superb. So I really feel higher about the place I’m now as a result of it’s going to get higher.
[00:25:59] That isn’t sufficiency. That’s conditional sufficiency and it’s not truly what does the job. It truly is. I’m okay with all the things precisely as it’s, even when it doesn’t change. I’m okay with it, how it’s proper now, even when it doesn’t change. It’s ample. And that doesn’t imply there aren’t belongings you need to enhance as a result of we are able to assume we’ll get lazy, complacent, we received’t be motivated.
[00:26:25] However I simply need you to consider like how effectively you do when somebody is nitpicking you, micromanaging you, at all times over your shoulder, at all times telling you you’re doing it unsuitable. Most individuals I do know, I imply a variety of us like we are able to carry out beneath these circumstances and we do. Do we have now enjoyable? No. And can we obtain as a lot as we are able to?
[00:26:47] No. As a result of we are likely to keep away from something that might lead to us making a mistake due to how we’ll be handled if we make the error. So we play small. we conceal, we do the protected factor, we do the assured factor, we do a lot of procrastinate studying to try to get it proper. And so it truly is simply similar to having the self belief and the sufficiency of all the things is okay precisely as it’s.
[00:27:15] Once I obtained to that place via reconnecting with Mindset work, which is strictly what I educate However the mindset work as a result of once I go into that just like the disgrace spiral and the stress My mind needs to go to technique, particularly like enterprise sensible it goes into I would like to seek out the fitting technique I must give attention to just like the enterprise how you can versus It’s my ideas and my emotions that create my end result and that decide how I execute upon the technique and the technique’s effectiveness.
[00:27:44] So it’s not that technique doesn’t matter, however the ideas and emotions driving the way you execute the technique. If the technique is the motion you’re taking, for those who have been considering a thought, that is by no means going to work. or folks don’t have the cash to pay me, the end result you’ll create from executing the technique that different folks might need success with isn’t going to be you succeeding as a result of it’s fueled by a thought that folks don’t need it, that you simply’re not going to have the ability to do it and all these various things.
[00:28:11] And so I’ve simply been so onto myself teaching, getting coached, being a lot extra open and susceptible with my teaching with myself and once I’m getting coached and simply additionally reconnecting with. the cash mindset work, um, and manifestation and that facet of issues as effectively. I used to be simply in a position to actually discover a place of sufficiency.
[00:28:31] After which from that place, enterprise sensible, we have now been getting nice outcomes. However I needed to get to sufficiency first. I needed to really feel it in my physique. earlier than there was any proof of it. And I stored wanting there to be proof for me to imagine. After which as soon as I used to be like, effectively, truly I’m going to be okay first.
[00:28:51] That’s once I was then in a position to present up for the enterprise the best way it wanted me to indicate up for it in order that I might create outcomes. And it’s been simpler and funner and extra mild than once I was making an attempt to push and pressure and stress my approach there. And so I like that that has been the lesson for me as a result of It’s such an essential lesson for perfectionists and naturally doing what I do I’ve obtained to go first and be taught it the exhausting approach, the painful approach oftentimes to actually like sit up and listen as a result of that wasn’t a lesson I needed to be taught.
[00:29:25] I didn’t actively need to be taught like, okay, how, like, what’s it like to actually undergo a interval, an prolonged interval of feeling such as you’re failing after you felt such as you’re actually succeeding. And the way do you navigate that and are available out the opposite facet of that, even when issues aren’t wanting the way you need them to, like, how do you get your self to that place of emotional sufficiency and okayness with your self, with issues as they’re to then have the ability to flip it round, like.
[00:29:53] I didn’t need to be taught that. I simply needed to maintain succeeding. I simply needed to maintain being on just like the up, up, up trajectory. And I like as effectively that similar to the best way I do issues in my enterprise. That I get to be an instance of enterprise, not being like yearly, you simply make increasingly more cash and increasingly more revenue and issues simply get simpler and simpler and simpler zoomed out.
[00:30:14] That’s the trajectory zoomed out, however in it month to month, 12 months to 12 months, that’s not how enterprise actually works for anybody. For those who’re in enterprise lengthy sufficient, there would be the ups and downs. It’s simply a part of there being cycles, seasons, And all of that. And so simply having that lesson of like, oh, it’s like this expectation I’ve that I ought to simply be making increasingly more and increasingly more cash each single 12 months, it doesn’t matter what’s happening in my private life, it doesn’t matter what’s happening within the economic system, similar to I must be higher yearly.
[00:30:47] That didn’t serve me. And it truly stopped me from with the ability to have or not it’s higher and higher and higher due to that thought sample. Just like the thought sample that I believed would create that truly stored me away from it as a result of it was pushed by inadequacy and insufficiency and eager to show and this sort of expectation.
[00:31:09] That I ought to at all times be performing. And simply to wrap up, I do know I’ve simply shared a variety of, like, I can really feel myself speaking quick. I’ve a variety of ideas about it. I’ve simply been like sharing with you. I hope it’s useful to listen to, however actually once I’ve been enthusiastic about, um, this analogy, as a result of as I mentioned, I’m revitalizing the veggie backyard.
[00:31:31] So I’ve been spending time there. And it’s simply the right analogy. I like my driving analogies, climbing mountains, gardens, in all probability going to be my subsequent class due to simply how applicable it’s for simply enthusiastic about issues. However in a backyard, so for instance, proper now we in Australia are in summer time and issues don’t develop the identical.
[00:31:56] There’s seasons. So we have now in Brisbane, the place I dwell, we have now summer time, which is basically sizzling spring and autumn, that are fairly sizzling after which winter, which remains to be just a little sizzling, however it’s chilly, however it’s nonetheless by any commonplace of winter world wide. Now we have a really heat winter, besides, Now we have completely different seasons and there are some greens and fruit that develop higher in some seasons than others.
[00:32:23] And there are specific occasions of 12 months the place there aren’t many issues which might be going to thrive. And I used to be speaking to a pal about this lately, and he does a variety of gardening. He was simply saying like right now of 12 months, lots of people, what they only do is that they prep their backyard for the season. Like for us, that’s round March for when it’s not as exhausting, the circumstances aren’t as harsh.
[00:32:44] And they also’ll like be pulling up issues which might be now not rising, mulching, like doing all these things to simply prep and simply preparing. So when the time does come to plant the seeds that they’re in a position and prepared to try this. And it was simply such an ideal. analogy for me to consider having like how issues aren’t at all times in nature meant to be rising on a regular basis and that there are occasions like when there’s, I’m not a farmer by any stretch, by any stretch of the creativeness, however there’s a season that you’re sowing After which issues are rising and then you definitely’re harvesting after which it is perhaps winter.
[00:33:22] After which after the winter, you sow it once more, then it grows and then you definitely harvest. And it’s that cycle. And I believe for thus many people, I see this in a variety of my friends, in a variety of my enterprise buddies and myself, that we have now this expectation that, Oh, however enterprise, it ought to at all times be rising. It ought to simply at all times be on the up and up and up.
[00:33:43] And we are likely to then filter. The tales that we hear in a approach that confirms that. So if somebody’s having a tough time, we dismiss that. We nonetheless hearken to it, however like, Oh yeah, they are saying it’s exhausting, however like they’re nonetheless profitable. Like we simply, that is how our brains work. The reticular activated system. Like we’ll simply distort, delete and generalize actuality to satisfy and fulfill the beliefs that we have already got.
[00:34:08] In order that affirmation bias, for those who imagine. what you are promoting ought to solely be making increasingly more and extra income annually. While you hear somebody who isn’t having that have, you should have a purpose. Oh yeah, however because of this that occurred for them. That is why, and it’ll all be to try to maintain proving the story true that yearly it ought to go up and up and up.
[00:34:28] And that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve had a variety of tales about folks having ups and downs of their enterprise when it comes to income, when it comes to revenue. And but for me, I nonetheless had this expectation on this story that that shouldn’t occur, that that shouldn’t be what occurs for me. If I’m doing that, if I’m experiencing that, I’m failing, I’ve made a mistake.
[00:34:49] And to simply have the aid of like, oh wait, that’s all regular. And I actually get that now. Like I actually, Actually, actually, actually get it. I don’t have any disgrace about it. Like I simply really feel like I’ve achieved a variety of work this 12 months to course of My ideas and emotions round that as a result of in the beginning of this 12 months I keep in mind I posted within the fb group for the mastermind that I used to be in on the time Simply being like I really feel like Such a failure that like that is the circumstance I’ve for like Income and revenue in 2022 after which in 2023 and like, I’ve simply fucked it up.
[00:35:26] I’ve messed it up. Like what have I achieved? And to be in a spot now, a 12 months later to simply actually get that I used to be simply having such a standard expertise, however due to the perfectionism and my mind considering that approach and decoding issues in a approach that made me unsuitable, I truly created a variety of struggling that was utterly pointless.
[00:35:52] As perfectionism tends to do, that after we’re considering in that perfectionist approach, we interpret actuality in a approach that makes us unsuitable and imperfect. In a approach that has us beating ourselves up, shaming ourselves, after which we get so targeted on how unsuitable we’re that we don’t even make it proper. As a result of we’re so shameful.
[00:36:14] For lots of us, we’re very then avoidant. We’re frozen. We’re similar to, all you go into that struggle mode and also you’re similar to making an attempt to work and work and work and similar to do all of the issues. Somewhat than being on this calm ample place of like, okay, right here’s what’s happening. Even when I made a mistake, which I’ll undoubtedly generally do.
[00:36:33] Right here’s what I’m studying from that mistake and transferring ahead. After we blame ourselves and after we disgrace ourselves, and this was the lesson I used to be initially going to speak about after we’re in disgrace and blame and after we are in a rush. And never trusting ourselves. You possibly can’t get the teachings. I couldn’t get the teachings once I was in that place.
[00:36:56] I needed to course of the disgrace. I needed to cease being in a rush to get to someplace higher once I’d lastly really feel good once more. I needed to truly get out of that to have the ability to assist myself to get the lesson after which to problem myself and to be taught and develop. Like now that I really feel like I’m in such a spot of self belief, I can take a lot tougher teaching from the coaches that I’ve and simply hear tougher issues about myself as a result of I’m not going to beat myself up about it.
[00:37:27] the best way that I’d have earlier than. Am I good at it? No. Nonetheless a human, nonetheless have a variety of perfectionist ideas which might be happening, however it’s worlds aside. And simply this 12 months has actually taught me that if I’m feeling disgrace about it, I’ve to try this. processing first to have the ability to get the lesson and transfer on.
[00:37:54] However sometimes if I’m in disgrace about it, I’ll be prevented and never need to look or I’ll simply be in such an enormous rush to try to get out of the disgrace, to try to get out of the inadequacy. However once I truly let myself be with it, course of it, cry if I must, it tends to be comparatively fast once I truly let myself interact with that.
[00:38:14] Then I can truly get the teachings and transfer ahead and I see this with a variety of my teaching shoppers that If you’re in a spot the place you might be judging your self actually harshly The teaching just like the teaching you’ll at all times get is to cease beating your self up As a result of for those who’re beating your self up, you possibly can’t get the teachings.
[00:38:31] You possibly can’t transfer ahead. So you might have to have the ability to cease that um, principally like What’s the very best phrase for it? It’s this very indulgent, like we join with ourselves via beating ourselves up. It’s like how we get our personal consideration and relate to ourselves. And like, it’s form of loopy to consider, however for lots of us, that’s how we relate to ourselves.
[00:38:56] Like that’s the traditional method to be in our relationship with ourselves. And for lots of perfectionists, that will be the default approach. I’d say just about for all perfectionists, that may be a default method to relate to your self. Is to make your self unsuitable to beat your self up and we’re doing this like preemptively to try to Then not have others do this We might moderately make ourselves unsuitable than have somebody make us unsuitable as a result of if another person sees it Then we really feel even worse if it’s simply one thing we noticed ourselves so If you’re beating your self up and making your self unsuitable, you must remedy that bit first earlier than you possibly can even start fixing the precise downside that’s happening or the error or something like that.
[00:39:35] And so I’ve discovered that so many, so many occasions over in so some ways, and notably the final two years. And I simply really feel so grateful. For the final two years. I simply really feel like I’ve talked about many occasions with the start of my enterprise that it took me three years to make my first greenback in my enterprise.
[00:39:55] Thanks. Perfectionism that had me so scared to take motion and have something on the market. And so it took me three years. And a lot of the worth that I’ve created on this planet via my enterprise has come from the teachings that I discovered firsthand via that interval. And I simply really feel like I’ve been via one other a kind of durations the place I do know the teachings that I can educate, the best way that I can coach now’s I can simply see issues.
[00:40:30] That I hadn’t seen earlier than as a result of I hadn’t seen them in myself and now I can simply see issues in such a clearer approach I can coach in such a extra nuanced approach and with out it being overwhelming to the shopper. However I can simply, my consciousness is thru the roof, via this era. So many classes which might be so essential for enterprise, for all times, perfectionism, private improvement.
[00:40:57] And I’m simply, So goddamn enthusiastic about 2025. I’ll share extra within the episode arising about what my plans are, about what I’m going to be doing enterprise sensible, about how I’m enthusiastic about all the things, all of that. I like sharing that. So I’m going to be strolling you thru it in that episode and sharing all of the issues, however it actually in so some ways goes to be, I believe, an unbelievable 12 months.
[00:41:23] enterprise sensible due to me permitting myself to spend extra time in my private life and I simply have such a robust realizing that by me permitting myself to Not have the enterprise be the first focus in my mind that the enterprise shall be extra profitable And I shall be extra profitable within the enterprise by not having or not it’s the be all finish all That I’ll simply give you the option and I do know this from expertise of occasions the place i’ve been like this Is that like after we’re doing the renovation, for instance, with our home, that was fairly an enormous mission that we have been engaged on.
[00:42:02] We didn’t do the bodily work, however we did like, there was rather a lot that goes into a variety of choices and planning and all of that. And once I had that as effectively to work on exterior of enterprise time, I used to be like, Hey, enterprise time, get into the enterprise, do my stuff after which return out to the opposite issues that I’m doing once I haven’t had that as a lot, or I’ve had that, however I haven’t allowed myself to completely give attention to it.
[00:42:22] Then I’ve similar to created and manufactured issues and drama within the enterprise As a result of it was like my essential supply of leisure. I wasn’t Getting that from elsewhere. And so i’m simply actually excited to have my enterprise be just a little bit boring in a very like Enjoyable, straightforward, light-weight, prefer it’s not like boring, boring.
[00:42:41] How do I even phrase this? Primarily eradicating the drama from it and having different issues happening in my life, which I have already got, however like being targeted on them, partaking them, exploring different issues. and having my enterprise be actually constrained to the enterprise time that I’ve, having extra time inside my enterprise time for studying enterprise books and private improvement books and like issues like that, that I’ve been like, I’ve to try this in my private time.
[00:43:08] However simply having much more freedom in my private time. Sorry, in my enterprise time, whereas nonetheless having the construction, I’ll nonetheless undoubtedly be doing my energy planning and all of that. However having simply, I suppose, a extra intuitive, female, flowy form of strategy to all of it, which I’m actually excited to do as a result of I do know from once I take a look at all the teachings I’ve discovered over the past decade, when I’ve been Essentially the most targeted on mindset work, just like the ideas and emotions I’m having, processing emotions.
[00:43:43] Um, and we speak about and educate all of this in PGSD after which in my one on one teaching as effectively, that each one of that, like cash mindset as effectively, like all these various things. Once I’m so related with that, once I truly honor like my work. Rhythms and cycles versus simply making an attempt to love be productive on a regular basis.
[00:44:03] I accomplish that significantly better. The enterprise does so significantly better. All the pieces feels a lot simpler when there’s a problem. I’ve far more capability to deal with it when there’s something that’s genuinely exhausting as a result of i’m not manufacturing exhausting issues simply to try to really feel deserving or to love occupy myself or busy myself.
[00:44:19] So when there genuinely is one thing exhausting I can deal with it so significantly better and a lot extra simply. So I simply really feel such a way of completion and over the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing, um, like not the final week once I had off. Um, however earlier than that, like in PGSD, we did a annual assessment train after which we did a planning train for the brand new 12 months and issues like that.
[00:44:42] Like I’ve simply been doing a variety of my very own work on reflecting on the 12 months, bringing the teachings collectively. Numerous the work on sufficiency, additionally simply teaching my one on one shoppers, notably that so many classes have crystallized a lot sufficiency and simply feeling the very best that I’ve within the final couple of years, for positive.
[00:45:06] However I’d in all probability say ever when it comes to the enterprise, as I discussed when the enterprise had been succeeding, however it was, I felt profitable as a result of Of my attachment to the enterprise, not due to having an id past that. And I simply really feel prefer to carry all of it collectively, having a time period, an prolonged interval, not similar to just a few exhausting weeks, like a very prolonged interval of feeling like I’ve been failing after which digging myself out of that mentally.
[00:45:37] After which having actuality mirror that as proof that I’d achieved the psychological work has been so. So, so, so unbelievable and simply, I really feel a lot extra related with myself once more, trusted in myself, like all these issues. And that I additionally really feel like I’m starting to actually absolutely develop myself exterior of getting the enterprise as effectively, which I do know would possibly sound Bizarre as a mother of three like I’ve different issues that I do it.
[00:46:07] I do know I maintain mentioning that however Mentally, it’s actually what I’m speaking about is like the place you might be mentally and what issues you’re fixing mentally and challenges you’re making an attempt to beat mentally and I’m simply actually excited to be engaged in my private life differently and in my enterprise differently and never from this proper approach or unsuitable approach or like several of that Similar to, how do I need to do it?
[00:46:31] What do I need to do in 2025? What do I need it to appear like? What would it not appear like if it was straightforward? What would it not appear like if it was enjoyable? What would most assist me? Not similar to, how can I get it proper and be higher? Like, I’ve had these questions as a driving pressure. It was not enjoyable and it was not useful, in the end.
[00:46:53] So that’s my, or these are my largest classes from this 12 months, from the final two years, notably. And I don’t assume I did a wrap up one final 12 months. I can’t keep in mind, however I did do across the finish of final 12 months, a launch reflection debrief the place I talked about sufficiency. And that was actually useful. In so some ways, like the start of this realization and work that I’ve achieved within the final month of simply actually attending to a spot the place I really feel that in my physique and it’s beginning to really feel extra like house and that I go to insufficiency versus insufficiency feeling like the house or inadequacy.
[00:47:36] or disgrace, no matter different phrase you need to name it, and that I’m visiting a spot of sufficiency, I really feel prefer it’s beginning to flip and that my nervous system is now having to get comfy with issues feeling good. And that, that feels a lot extra uncomfortable than when I’m in that insufficiency.
[00:47:57] There’s a variety of different worries and issues like that, that if I’m feeling harassed in regards to the enterprise or no matter, then I have a tendency to not be as targeted on that as a result of I’m busy mentally occupying myself with the enterprise. However when the enterprise goes effectively, then it brings up different issues in my life to work on, which is an incredible factor.
[00:48:14] I need that. And in addition it feels extra uncomfortable in a variety of methods. And a few folks will have the ability to relate to this. Some won’t, however. It feels just like the enterprise is extra controllable and like extra solvable than sure issues in my private life. And so it’s simpler to have the enterprise be the factor I’m making an attempt to work on as a result of it looks like there’s an actual answer and there’s not as a lot at stake in contrast with different areas of life.
[00:48:40] So I’m simply, yeah. Excited to carry, like I’m a life coach to carry my teaching apply, my self teaching apply of like getting teaching all these items into different areas of my life, in addition to persevering with to have it in enterprise. I’ll at all times have a enterprise coach. I’ll at all times have, um, that form of assist.
[00:48:58] So essential. That’s a serious lesson from 2023. Didn’t have a enterprise coach or like someplace to get that assist. Oh, I paid for that in so some ways. Simply, it’s so essential to have someplace to go that they will take a look at your mind and provide help to see what’s happening and assist you and provide help to course of emotions and all of that.
[00:49:18] So I at all times have a enterprise coach and now I need to carry that to my private life as effectively. And simply, I simply really feel like I’m turning into. I mentioned, I’ll wrap up just a few occasions. That is the wrap up that I’ve felt like this has been a reinvention this era, particularly after having the twins. I’ve talked about how, trigger I had three beneath the age of two for a interval.
[00:49:45] Liddy was 19 months when the twins have been born. So I really feel like that was form of the start of my like id disaster, if you’ll, of simply being like, wait, all of the issues I used to be doing earlier than, I can’t do them the identical anymore. Like virtually talking, my everyday life has modified dramatically. One little one, I can pop Lydie within the service and we are able to exit.
[00:50:05] Three children, it’s completely different. I’m simply needing to determine alternative ways to do issues. And I really feel like that has actually been the start of a reinvention of myself and never making an attempt to love return to something to maneuver ahead, to change into the following model of me. And I really feel like within the final couple of years, the twins nearly two, that like all these little items have began clicking collectively.
[00:50:27] And now it simply looks like me truly permitting myself to present a lot extra consideration to my private life. Bodily and most significantly mentally and permitting myself to completely flesh that out is simply feeling like a part of that reinvention and I’m actually excited for that. And simply to have enterprise be one space of my life versus it being like the primary factor that’s happening for me mentally.
[00:50:57] So with all of that mentioned, These are my reflections. Oh, I really feel like I’ve simply been chatting speedy fireplace, however it has been unbelievable. And I’m so grateful. So, so grateful to my shoppers, to my coaches, to my friends, to my household. Like, I simply really feel So really feel filled with gratitude, of appreciation for myself, for others as effectively, and similar to, in the very best place, I don’t really feel any strain from myself, I simply really feel belief that I can determine it out, that I can do what must be achieved, that when it comes time to work, I’ll work, that when it’s time to relaxation, I’ll relaxation, like I simply really feel a lot extra at house with myself, Bye!
[00:51:41] than I ever have. And I’m simply excited to be exploring that much more and getting much more into that. So these are my classes. I hope it’s been useful. If it has, ship me a DM on Instagram. I’m @perfectionismproject. I like to listen to from you. So, uh, please ship that in. I’ll take a screenshot and tag me and I shall be releasing an episode arising quickly within the subsequent few days.
[00:52:09] I believe on the like monetary reflections for 2024. I like sharing that. As effectively, simply serving to you normalize issues, speaking via sure issues. So I’m actually excited to try this. After which I’m additionally going to be doing an episode on my plans for 2025. So keep tuned for all of that. After which on the finish of January, we’re going to be opening my program Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed for enrollment. So it’ll be open for enrollment for per week. And for those who aren’t on the wait checklist, you possibly can go to samlaurabrown.com/PGSD to join that. It’ll be within the present notes. the place you possibly can go. However PGSD is my productiveness program for perfectionist entrepreneurs that can assist you go from procrastinating, overthinking, getting it in your individual approach, to really taking motion, to displaying up constantly, to really feeling like you might have an actual enterprise.
[00:53:04] And I’m obsessive about the transformations that come out of that program, with the outcomes that individuals are with the ability to create and simply. The shifts in the best way that they will go from, and this was the work I discussed that I needed to do at first of like, I do know what I must do and I’m actually simply not doing it as a result of I’m so fearful of failing, of succeeding, of creating a mistake, of wanting silly, like I simply had so many perfectionist ideas.
[00:53:32] Ideas and fears that have been stopping me from taking motion and my enterprise couldn’t succeed if I wasn’t taking any motion. If I used to be simply at all times planning or procrastinate studying, or like I’d publish on my weblog after which I wouldn’t publish once more for 3 months. And so I needed to learn to begin taking motion and the way to try this constantly and do this with out burning out.
[00:53:53] So that’s what we educate inside Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed. After which one on one teaching as effectively. I need to point out that that’s like, when you’re taking motion, While you then need to have that motion Lead to extra gross sales and while you’re in PGSD When everybody is available in they naturally improve their gross sales as a result of while you begin taking motion You’ll make extra gross sales.
[00:54:13] You’ll make more cash in what you are promoting After which sometimes what occurs is you attain a form of plateau And also you then want to beat the perfectionism that’s stopping you from promoting, displaying up, believing in what you do, proudly speaking about it, placing your self on the market, all these various things.
[00:54:29] And so that’s what I’m educating in my one on one teaching that I’m doing. So there are nonetheless a few spots open for that. So go to samlaurabrown.com/teaching. I imagine if you wish to apply to work with me one on one, which I’m so excited to be doing one on one once more. Oh my God. That has simply been an enormous half too of like me feeling so invigorated in regards to the enterprise. I’m obsessive about one on one teaching. Oh my God. Steve was telling certainly one of our buddies the opposite day, like one on one teaching is like crack for me. In all probability not an excellent analogy, however like, I’m so energized each time I stroll out of my workplace after a one on one teaching name.
[00:55:06] So anyway, if you wish to be certainly one of my one on one teaching shoppers, and you might be somebody who’s, you understand, good together with your motion, however you do take motion and it simply isn’t translating into the outcomes you need it to. I’m your lady. I may help you with that for positive. It’s certainly one of my favourite issues to assist shoppers with.
[00:55:25] So enroll or sorry, apply. To work with me one on one, um, you could find out extra about all of it there too, however thrilling issues are coming and I simply really feel in the very best place with issues precisely as they’re and open to the challenges that shall be sooner or later. I’m positive, um, the wins, all of it. So. Yeah, hope it’s useful.
[00:55:50] I hope you’ve had an incredible vacation season thus far, whether or not you’ve been working or not. Glad new 12 months, just a few hours of time of recording this till the brand new 12 months. So pleased new 12 months. And I hope you’re having a gorgeous day. I’ll speak to you within the subsequent episode.
Outro
For those who get pleasure from this podcast, I like to recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed, aka PGSD. This can be a program designed that can assist you get out of your individual approach in what you are promoting. You’re going to learn to launch your perfectionism handbrake by setting a development objective for what you are promoting, planning correctly as a perfectionist with energy planning and getting common guilt free clear relaxation.
You’ll be taught the talents required to get out of your individual approach and be supported each step of the best way to do it. To seek out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist at the moment, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
