“I’ve discovered magnificence within the whimsically peculiar.” ~Elissa Gregoire
The pervasive message of our time asserts that success is important in each side of life, be it schooling, profession, friendships, or relationships. Within the relentless pursuit of success, many people toil ceaselessly, ingrained with the assumption that triumph is the gateway to happiness.
Rewind three many years to once I was ten, and the emphasis was on excelling in class. Household, lecturers, and even films emphasised the narrative that good grades equated to happiness.
The equation was easy: good grades led to an excellent job, monetary stability, an important companion, and happiness. I clung to this system, apart from a quickly rebellious section in faculty when momentary enjoyable felt extra essential than grades. Quickly sufficient, I recalibrated my focus.
Reflecting again, I want I may have suggested my youthful self that straight A’s don’t assure success or a right away stellar job however, extra importantly, a content material life.
I don’t harbor regrets about discovering this later; nevertheless, I might have spared myself pointless stress over a single B-, pondering it signaled the demise of my promising future.
I secured a good job as a social employee in my skilled life. Whereas the monetary rewards have been modest, I used to be serving to individuals, which I all the time needed to do.
I gained happiness from serving to individuals, as evidenced by glowing yearly evaluations from my supervisors. But, the truth of working with adults grappling with psychological well being and substance abuse points challenged the traditional markers of success. The transformation I envisioned for my shoppers didn’t materialize on a broad scale. Solely two shoppers graduated from excessive faculties and located jobs in my three years, a comparatively meager success fee by my grading requirements.
Following my temporary interval as a social employee, I delved into my ardour for writing. This endeavor proved to be some of the disheartening skilled experiences. Rejections outnumbered any I had confronted beforehand.
Regardless of the setbacks, I stayed resilient, recognizing that success in writing usually hinges on likelihood and luck. I’m decided to not abandon my pursuit of writing as a result of I really feel assured that perseverance will ultimately tilt the chances in my favor. It’s only a matter of time.
Whereas higher-ups might have expressed dissatisfaction, getting printed drew reward. The dichotomy of rejection versus acceptance raises the query of whether or not one success outweighs quite a few failures. Does public recognition invalidate private setbacks?
Friendships thrived till my late thirties, however they underwent a shift once I moved to Indiana. Prior successes in sustaining a various group of mates diminished, leaving me with acquaintances however no deep connections I craved. Whether or not because of the pandemic, my age, or the placement, I encountered my first failure in forming significant friendships.
Taking a look at all spheres of my life, I’ve walked a path of average success.
I’ve hovered between not excelling and never faltering massively, settling into a snug averageness. The stress to outperform these round me is all the time current, however I’ve realized the futility of unending comparability. Striving for greatness is admirable however invitations overwhelming stress and overwork.
Being okay with being common doesn’t imply I’m lazy or don’t have any targets. I do know some individuals will all the time be higher than me, and a few shall be much less expert. However making an attempt to be one of the best doesn’t must imply I’m all the time pressured.
In the end, my journey has been one in every of navigating the center floor and avoiding extremes. I haven’t soared to nice heights, however I’ve discovered contentment in averageness. Whether or not it’s schooling, profession, friendships, or writing, pursuing excellence ought to coexist with accepting private authenticity and avoiding the lure of incessant comparability and overbearing expectations.
Opposite to societal conditioning, being common isn’t undesirable. The happiest individuals usually reside on a regular basis lives, having fun with time with household and mates with out continuously chasing fame or fortune.
Selecting an easier life as an alternative of continually competing has made me a lot happier.
There’s one thing extraordinary about simply being peculiar and having peace of thoughts. However it looks like everybody’s all the time pushing for “extra.” Why, when true happiness comes from appreciating what we have now and ignoring the stress to all the time try for one thing greater?
Is there ever a conclusion to the ceaseless pursuit of outperforming others? I don’t suppose so.
After 4 many years, I’ve develop into content material with who I’m and the place I stand. Not entangled within the internet of comparability or the pursuit of outdoing others, I discover pleasure in merely current the place I’m.
I used to really feel like I needed to be higher than everybody else, however that stress is gone now. I’m far more relaxed and at peace, one thing I by no means felt when continuously making an attempt to be one of the best. I’m proud of the place I’m now, and I’m having fun with studying about issues that curiosity me. I like this new feeling of calm and am grateful for the experiences that helped me lastly settle for myself. I’m lastly at a spot of real self-acceptance.
About Anjana Rajbhandary
Anjana Rajbhandary is an Ayurvedic Well being Instructor and Licensed Psychological Well being Skilled with a ardour for holistic wellness. When she’s not writing or instructing, you’ll find her exploring new cultures, having fun with reside music, or spending high quality time along with her beloved rescue pet, Sloane. Go to her at anjyrajy.com, on Medium, and on Instagram.
