Let’s be sincere: if somebody walked as much as you and mentioned, “Hey, what vegetable are you?” you’d most likely both A) assume it’s a bizarre character quiz or B) query your life decisions that led to this second. Both approach, right here we’re. You’re studying this. I’m penning this. We’re about to match your soul to one thing that will get chopped into stew.
And weirdly? It really works.

As a result of greens—like individuals—include layers, flavors, temperaments, and the occasional potential to trigger digestive misery.
So let’s discover your interior produce.
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Sort One: The Spinach


You’re spinach. Not flashy. Not needy. Simply out right here doing the onerous, morally upright work of creating humanity higher—one chunk of iron-rich goodness at a time.
Spinach doesn’t must yell. It doesn’t want consideration. It simply reveals up in your smoothie, your salad, your lasagna—and quietly improves issues. That’s you, expensive One. Quietly judging iceberg lettuce whereas reforming your complete fridge shelf by shelf.
You’ve ideas. Requirements. A deep interior need to be good and do good—which might be inspiring if it didn’t additionally include the compulsion to reorganize another person’s spice cupboard as a result of it was providing you with nervousness.
At your greatest, you’re deeply nourishing. You elevate every little thing round you. You remind individuals what integrity seems like.
At your worst? You’re bitter. A bit inflexible. And susceptible to passive-aggressively steaming within the background whereas muttering, “I simply assume it’s attention-grabbing that nobody adopted the recipe.”
However even then, you’re nonetheless good for individuals. You’re the rationale society doesn’t collapse right into a pudding cup of impulsive chaos.
Sort Two: The Candy Potato


Heat, beneficiant, delicate on the within. You’re the casserole at Thanksgiving everybody fights over—since you make individuals really feel protected, seen, and barely responsible for not calling their grandma again.
Candy potatoes are what occurs when a root vegetable will get remedy and decides to heal its interior baby with brown sugar and marshmallows. Which is… form of your vibe. You’re nurturing. You’re scrumptious. You’re continually attempting to emotionally assist the opposite greens even once you’re actually being mashed.
Sort Three: The Romanesco


You’re Romanesco—the vegetable that appears prefer it was designed by a math-obsessed alien with a aptitude for the dramatic.
Let’s get actual: Romanesco doesn’t simply present up. It arrives. It spirals onto the scene like a floral fireworks show and quietly dares each different vegetable to attempt tougher. It’s geometry. It’s efficiency. It’s a TED Discuss in cruciferous kind.
And that’s you, expensive Three.
Threes need to succeed, look good doing it, and possibly casually revolutionize an trade whereas pretending it was no huge deal. You’re charming. You’re pushed. You give sturdy “Instagram-worthy however make it a marketing strategy” vitality. And like Romanesco, you look such as you’ve bought all of it collectively—however beneath the fractal perfection is somebody questioning in the event that they’re nonetheless lovable with out the gold stars.
At your worst? You’re curating your character for applause, swapping authenticity for applause emojis.
At your greatest? You’re mesmerizing. Motivating. A reminder that excellence can be stunning and soul-driven when it’s coming from a spot of reality—not simply the necessity to show you’re definitely worth the desk you’re seated at.
Sort 4: The Eggplant


Aesthetically misunderstood. Emotionally wealthy. Susceptible to being roasted in ways in which both remodel you right into a culinary masterpiece or make individuals cry from bitterness.
You’re eggplant: darkish, velvety, and barely overcommitted to your id as “the mysterious one.” If greens had Tumblr blogs, eggplant can be the one posting moody black-and-white close-ups of rain on windowpanes.
Fours need to be genuine. They crave that means. Eggplants need to be parmigiana. They crave breadcrumbs and somebody who sees them. However additionally they take up every little thing—taste, oil, emotion.
At your worst? You’re chilly, slimy, and satisfied no person will ever perceive you. At your greatest? You’re consolation meals for the soul.
Sort 5: Kale


Yeah, I mentioned it. You’re kale. Dense. Nutrient-rich. Intimidating to the uninitiated.
Kale isn’t right here to be your pal. Kale is right here as a result of it’s environment friendly, stuffed with nutritional vitamins, and has depth that few really respect as a result of they’re centered on shallow stuff like….taste. As a substitute, you’re strategic. Quiet. Form of crunchy in an existential approach.
You observe greater than you converse. And once you do converse? It’s with the load of a thousand Wikipedia tabs and three years of overthinking. Fives, like kale, are greatest when massaged—emotionally and actually.
At your worst, you’re inaccessible and form of bitter. At your greatest, you’re a superfood of perception, readability, and dry humor nobody noticed coming.
Sort Six: The Potato


Is the potato glamorous? No. Is it important? Completely.
You’re the potato. Loyal, adaptable, suspicious of the air fryer. Potatoes stick round. They’re constructed for famine, consolation, and feeding everybody within the village whereas second-guessing each recipe alongside the way in which.
Sixes are ready. They’ve contingency plans. So do potatoes. You possibly can boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew. (Shoutout to Samwise Gamgee.) You’re hearty. You’re dependable. And also you’re one step away from an id disaster if somebody accuses you of being “boring.”
However you’re not. You’re vital. You’re the emotional grounding drive. You additionally may need a dozen tabs open referred to as “Indicators I Can Belief This Individual” and “The way to Put together for Societal Collapse.”
At your worst? You’re hiding in a pantry of paranoia. At your greatest? You’re feeding the world and quietly holding everybody collectively.
Sort Seven: The Sugar Snap Pea


You might be actually sunshine in legume kind. Sugar snap peas are candy, crunchy, and far more enjoyable than they’ve any proper to be.
Sevens are pushed by FOMO, spontaneous concepts, and an interior baby who bought left alone with a trampoline and 6 Capri Suns. Sugar snap peas are the identical. They bounce. They flirt along with your style buds. They make a charcuterie board really feel like a celebration.
However let’s be actual: there’s solely so lengthy you’ll be able to bounce earlier than exhaustion kicks in. Below the excessive vitality is a concern of being caught in ache. You joke your approach out of trauma prefer it’s a aggressive sport.
At your worst, you’re a distracted mess of half-started initiatives and chaotic snack vitality. At your greatest? You’re an infusion of hope, pleasure, and the rationale individuals nonetheless go outdoors.
Sort Eight: The Jalapeño


You knew it was coming.
You’re the jalapeño. Spicy. Assertive. Able to burning individuals who underestimate you.
Eights are intense. So are jalapeños. Individuals both search you out or keep away from you based mostly on whether or not they’re emotionally ready. You’re not right here to be favored—you’re right here to reside. By yourself phrases. With additional warmth.
You’re a protector. You punch again when life throws shade. You additionally begin kitchen fires, however that’s a part of your appeal. You’re misunderstood till you’re the precise taste somebody must get up.
At your worst? You explode on the flawed time and make individuals cry. At your greatest? You’re daring, brave, and precisely what a bland world must really feel alive once more.
Sort 9: The Cucumber


Calm. Cool. Non-confrontational to the purpose of disappearing right into a salad.
You’re the cucumber. The human embodiment of a spa day. You carry peace to the desk, actually and emotionally. Nines are mediators. Cukes are palette cleansers. Coincidence? I believe not.
You drift. You absorb different flavors. And generally, you neglect you’ve gotten a taste of your personal. However you do. And it’s refreshing. You’re the coolness pal everybody leans on whereas chaos reigns elsewhere. However simply since you’re not yelling doesn’t imply you’re not feeling.
At your worst? You’re passive-aggressively hiding within the fridge and pretending you’re advantageous. At your greatest? You’re uniting sides of the sandwich that had been by no means meant to the touch.
Closing Ideas: So What Now?
So now that which vegetable you might be, what do you do with this data?
Nothing. Or every little thing. You possibly can make it your character. Get it tattooed. Begin introducing your self as “Hello, I’m Ashley and I’m a sugar snap pea.” Or you might simply sit with it. Let it marinate. Stir-fry it into your id.
Each kind has worth. Each vegetable brings one thing to the desk (pun completely supposed). Some add spice. Some add consolation. Some present up once you’re ravenous and save your life in a stew.
And irrespective of which one you might be, you’re not right here accidentally.
So whether or not you’re spicy, candy, crunchy, sophisticated, or attempting to be every little thing directly—personal it.
Simply possibly don’t let anybody flip you into soup with out your consent.
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